The Musings of Ruth

really? that long?

2010-06-15T22:02:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it's been 9 months since I've posted anything! I could've had a baby in that amount of time! Well, not me physically, with the way the plumbing is breaking down in this old body, but still, you get the idea. It's been a long time. In some ways it seems much longer.

I often say that nothing really happens in life, but when nine whole months go past me, I guess I could say a few things had happened. Things with my health (oh, that's a never-ending subject, isn't it?!), emotions, jobs, friends, family, loss of family, babies, weddings, and my Peanut (that's what I call Kirsten, in case you forgot).

I don't really know where to jump in at, so I'm just jumping in with this.

Closer to Love

2009-09-11T11:23:00.003-05:00

Our church recently did a series on Habakkuk. We talked about how we all experience "dips" in our lives in one way or another, where we encounter something that either causes us to take pause or sometimes even causes us to complete stop in our tracks of life. Habakkuk shows us how that even in those dips, God is wanting us to press in closer to Him (not just turning to Him during the good times). It's in those moments where we can really learn to trust Him. Of course, there's not always an easy answer to our situations. There won't always seem to be a way out. Sometimes it's something we have to continue to live with. God knows that. He understands that we don't always understand, that we ask why, that we even get upset with Him at times. And that's okay. Our Father loves us deeply, and wants to help us grow, just like us parents want for our children.

In the first week of the series, we showed a video of a couple from Paradox that had lost their youngest son to SIDS when he was only 5 months old. They shared their thoughts and feelings, how they reacted at the time, and how they're still coping. They also shared how they've found some peace from God, even though this is something that will stay with their family forever. The second week, another couple shared their encounter with cancer this year. My friend Marie spoke of how she just felt honored that God had trusted her with this, knowing that He would be glorified through it somehow. Now, to many of us, we can't even begin to understand how she came to that conclusion, but you'd have to know Marie to get a glimpse of how that was even possible for her to see. As of today, she is cancer free and growing stronger day by day.

The last week of the series, we showed a video of some other people at Paradox who have gone through various dips in life. The stories share their dip, some of their heartache, and where they are at now. Some are past those moments, and some are still in the thick of it, trying their best to cling to Christ. Since Matt & I are both in this video, I wanted to share it with you...

crashing to a halt

2009-06-04T10:00:00.002-05:00

Matt called me at work later on Monday to tell me that an old friend of ours, Wes, had passed away. This has effected me in a big way this week so far, and I just can't seem to snap out of it yet. I stopped thinking about the fast, and I stopped my reading. I have done a lot of praying, though, and even more-so for Wes's family and friends. I was talking to Matt about this last night. I think I feel bad that I don't really feel bad for stopping the fast...? I mean, it's not even entering my mind that I'm not continuing with what I had been so eagerly working on. I just feel like I'm going thru each day in a fog - going through the motions of work and such. I'm interacting with Kirsten & Matt & others, but my focus is completely lost. I'm even struggling to remember little things about my job at work, things that are second-nature to me there.

I'm not sure if it's because Wes was so young (only 32), or if it's just that I have so many memories of him in our lives... I just feel numb about things.

For as rough as this is on me, I know it's so much harder on Matt. They were good friends, did so many things together (including work at one point - and it wasn't a bad thing!). This has been really hard for him to grasp. I know this weekend will be so rough at the viewing/funeral.

Anyway, I'll try my best to continue however I can with the fast & reading, but I don't know how diligent I will be. Maybe I'll just plan to do it over again later in the month, when things are settled and my ability to focus returns. I'm just way too scattered in my thoughts right now.

For those who knew Wesley Atwood, please be in prayer for his family. His wife's name is Stephanie, and they have 2 kids, Madison (8 yrs) and Zane (7 yrs). Wes has a younger sister & brother (both in their 20's), and his parents are mourning, too. His best friend Virgil is coming in town from Texas to be with them until next week.

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives. words my brother lived by." (A post by Wes's brother JT.)

day something-or-other

2009-06-01T08:26:00.000-05:00

Been a rough few days since Friday as far as the fasting & prayer is concerned. Just been very busy & distracted - I really am longing for my quiet alone time with God. I need my focus back. Trying to see if I can drink my coffee black, but am settling for some sugar-free flavored creamer instead. Maybe by next week I can do it! Hopefully I can catch up on my reading tonight and be back on track.

Heading off to my 10-hr. Monday at work & planning to come home for lunch. Have some hummus and boiled eggs and fruit waiting for me. And my Bible! :)

day 4

2009-05-28T10:15:00.003-05:00

I know I started this on Tuesday instead of Monday, but as to not keep confusing myself, I'm going with the date the rest of Paradox is using! This helps me with the handout we received (it's on the forums, too) of what to read each day.

This morning was so nice here at home. I don't go to work until this afternoon, so this was my first long moment of some great quality time with me & God. I got Kirsten off to school, doodled around online for a bit while waking up, then sat down to spend my time with God. I often have problems with prayer. Usually when I pray in my mind, I find myself getting easily distracted, with my thoughts going elsewhere. This time I was able to pray out loud, and it was wonderful! I was able to stay focused, and had a really long talk with God! I then took the time to re-read chapters 1-4 of John, to refresh & catch myself up on the devotionals. A little more prayer, some blog reading, and I feel great!

My friend Rebecca shared a great blog with me, one that I find very encouraging for what I'm living through right now. I don't know much about her, but Lysa TerKeurst is part of Proverbs 31 Ministries, which is geared towards women. Right now she's in the midst of a challenge to not eat any sugar, and she's been posting some of her thoughts through this. This quote stuck out to me, "The more I crave food and seek unhealthy satisfaction from food, the less I crave true satisfaction from Jesus." So often I find myself craving foods, and doing so when I'm not even hungry! It seems for the past few days I've been almost searching out the things I'm trying to keep from eating, and that's just been wasting time & focus, when I should be searching out moments with my Father instead! "So, how does one tap into God’s strength? Certainly prayer. Definitely reading the Bible. But there’s another part to it. Getting to a place where our lack of strength disgusts us. It’s found at the bottom of our excuses and rationalizations. It’s found when our efforts fail time and time again. It’s found in the humility of admission, “I need God.” One good choice later, we taste the empowerment of possibility and we start reaching forward from there."

One final quote from one of her posts...
"But for the others of you, who know exactly what I'm talking about in this post, I want to be that friend sitting across from you today saying, 'If you do this out of obedience to God, it will work.' Physically. Emotionally. And best of all, spiritually. 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, IN ALL YOUR WAYS, acknowledge him and he will make your path straight,' Proverbs 3: 5-6."

day 1

2009-05-26T21:42:00.002-05:00

I think I survived the first day! I didn't get to start out with my devotional, only because I woke up late. I decided to do that at lunchtime instead. I had a sensible breakfast, and made sure to bring carrots and deviled eggs and water to work with me for snacking. For lunch I picked up some soup & milk, and sat in my car to do my devotions and pray while eating. The first main scent of temptation came at that time, though... there's a donut shop around the corner from us, and when I walked out the back door of work, I could smell it! I practically drooled! LOL I did drink a big thing of water (of which I haven't been consuming much water at all for months now), so that was an interesting change. I sometimes thought I wish it was a Coke or Sprite, just for that sweet factor, and I used those moments to say a quick little prayer while working. That was kind of neat!

Another temptation came after work when I went to Kroger. I needed to pick up some more cottage cheese (on a good sale!) and good foods (I even got little pita pockets & some hummus and spinach dip for me & Kirsten!). But shopping after work, when it's time for dinner & I'm hungry - I should've known! I laughed a lot through the store, and had a fun little dialog running with God during my attempts of avoiding the candy & bakery & ice cream isles! (But Bryers was on sale!!!)

I was able to talk with Kirsten about this some tonight. She seemed receptive to the idea, and even a little interested in what I'm doing. I told her that when her sweet snacks run out, I won't be buying any more for a while, that she'll just have to keep eating the fruits for sweets. She said I can buy more in 3 weeks! LOL I guess she did listen to me! :)

the decision has been made

2009-05-25T22:39:00.002-05:00

I realized tonight that I need to mark down, commit in writing and put it out there, what my commitment will be during this time of fasting. Today I found myself saying "I think" in regards to it, but I know I need to just write it as "I will" instead! So, here's what I've decided to keep away from... sugar. To me, this means no pop, no ice cream, no sherbet, no candy bars, no chocolate... (I can't believe I just said no chocolate!)... this will truly be a sacrifice for me! I may not be absolute on it (for example, I may eat a flavored yogurt & see later that a small amount of sugar was in the ingredients), but this will definitely be a change. I'll try looking at the labels (yes, Ruth, there are such things on what you consume!) to see what I'm putting in my body. I'll be more aware of what I'm eating and drinking. I know this will also force me to buy more "natural" sweets - fruits! And I'll be eating more veggies, too! (I know this will surprise my Mom!)

I'm going to try to incorporate this into Kirsten's diet for the next 3 weeks as well. This weekend was very stimulating to her (we did a lot & went visiting a lot), so her mood wasn't the best for having a discussion about this. I'm hoping tomorrow night she'll be more alert & able to listen to what I have to share with her about this. Sure, she won't understand the depth of the idea of fasting, but I'll make it something that she can grasp and hopefully remember.

Matt's sacrifice will be different from mine. He can already go weeks without sugar, if needed (his snacking habits are different from mine). He decided he'll drink nothing but water. I'll be the first to tell you - this will be hard for him! He does not enjoy drinking just plain 'ol water! But this is what he decided to do.

Today as I spent a few hours in the kitchen cleaning a bunch of fruits and vegetables, I realized that this is actually going to force me to change my eating habits and make them better for my body. Then I got excited to realize that this will also effect my family - all 3 of us will be eating healthier! I may have to ask my sis-in-law Jenn for some ideas (she recently changed their family's eating habits drastically, and they've been loving it!)!

Anyway, I also need to remember to do my daily Bible reading throughout this fasting time. I'm so excited to see what God will be doing in my life through this!!!

(Again, I did say no chocolate, didn't I?!?)

the fasting challenge

2009-05-24T23:17:00.002-05:00

Paradox, the church we attend, is starting a church-wide challenge right now. The challenge is to fast. Now, for me this will not be a literal fasting of all foods. I just don't think that physically I can do this. I know the initial thought may be that I'm just not giving God enough credit that He can pull me through it, but that's not the case. For some medical reasons, it just wouldn't be a smart idea to attempt it. But what I am going to do is give up something that I daily think about or crave. I could say it's coffee, because I sure do love it, but I often skip days on my own. Just a month ago when I had a bad cold, I went over a week without it, just because I knew it wasn't going to taste as good to me. So, coffee's not the thing. I just have to come up with a decision here. Chocolate, perhaps? I know I've been eating that or thinking of that on a more regular basis lately. Sugar? As in sweets and pop and such? I have been on a huge ice cream kick the last several weeks. It has to be a sacrifice. It has to be something that won't be easy to do. I want, and I really do want, to see what happens during this. I've never attempted this in any way before. I want to see this get difficult for me, and for me to remember during those times to turn to God and pray about it. I want to pray for Him to use these moments to draw me closer to Him, to increase my desire and hunger for Him.

Throughout the next few weeks, I'm going to attempt the daily reading, too. I picked up a copy of it at church today, but they'll also be posted on our forums in case I forget. I'm eager to see how this goes for me. I challenged Matt to do it, too, and we'll probably talk more tomorrow when we have the time. This could be a really good thing for the both of us. I'm excited to see what happens!

in the clear

2009-05-11T11:51:00.004-05:00

I had my follow-up with my doctor this morning about my surgery. I'm surprised the scale there didn't show that I gained 10 pounds - I feel like I should've, considering all I did was lay around for a whole week, and the eating didn't subside! She said the incision area looks good & seems to be healing well. Only setback is that I have a bit of an infection in the area. Got meds for that & it should improve soon. She wanted me to stay home another week if I could, and I asked if I could go back to work today! She asked for a few more days, and I asked about tomorrow... we settled on tomorrow! (Hooray!) So, I'll just keep taking it easy & not lifting much (looks like I need Matt's help for laundry still! LOL). Oh, the doctor said the mass was definitely endometriosis, and it was about 2 inches by 2 inches by 2 inches (? did I say too many 2's there?!? LOL) - larger than a golf ball.

I'm excited to return to work tomorrow and get back to some sense of normality around here again! It'll be good for Matt & Kirsten, too. I'm sure they've been thrown off their regular routines with me home all the time! They've been good at helping out during all of this, and I have to say it again - Matt's been an excellent husband and caretaker of mine while I've been recovering. We even had our anniversary (14 years!) last Wednesday, and it was good to just spend time relaxing together. More than words!

Thanks for the prayers and well-wishes during this... I love you all!
xoxo - Ruth

one week down

2009-05-09T12:37:00.002-05:00

It's been a full week since my surgery, and I'll have to admit that I'm going a little stir crazy at home here! Yesterday was literally my first day out and about a bit... I went to a meeting in the morning & then out to lunch with my sister & Mom. Those two events wiped me out! It was odd - I felt a little light-headed while driving at first... wonder if it was all the fresh air?!? I noticed that gas prices went up a quarter since I've been on lock-down! Today I'm back to being grounded, tomorrow I'll be out for Mother's Day (church & hopefully some time out for me & my girlie, if I'm feeling well enough), then Monday morning I get my follow-up visit with my doctor.

For the past few days, I think I've been getting a little paranoid about my recovery. I've been behaving myself, really! I mean, how much trouble can I get into by laying on the couch, getting up occasionally to wander to another room, and laying back down? The doctor was so right, though - she said I'll feel like I can do things, but I'll need to rest. I kind of feel normal, not really in pain much at all. I guess the rest is so that I don't keep using my stomach muscles, which happens every time I go from a sitting/laying position to standing. Anyway, the paranoia started a few nights ago when I saw a few blood spots on the paper towel (I didn't have any gauze to use!) I put on the wound. There was a little bit of yellow, too, but not as much as the blood. Since then, there's been more. They're just tiny spots, but bright red. There's a part on the incision that I'm wondering if it wasn't closed up properly - I really wish she would've used stitches or something, just to make sure it healed closed well. That's the part I'm getting paranoid about. I hope it is healing correctly - I'd hate to lose any more time of work! (I miss work, actually! I miss my co-workers, the patients, and the getting away from home part!) Oh, one thing that's been bad is the itching!!! Of course, things need to be clean & shaved when there's surgery, and when hair starts to grow back in... IT ITCHES HORRIBLY!!! Ugh! LOL It's been really hard for me to restrain myself, to be honest! There's one patch of skin that I guess I'd been itching at - it's an inch or two from the incision, and I guess I'd been inadvertently scratching there instead. Now it's a huge red patch the size of a 1/2 dollar coin! I've gotta stop this!!! *twitch, twitch*

Matt's been excellent at taking care of me and making sure I don't do too much. I even thought maybe I could sneak out to see a movie with a friend on Wednesday, but the warden layed down the law and said no way! He's been great, and Kirsten's been pretty good, too.

So, I wait. I wait to see what news the doctor has for me Monday. I wait and heal up a little more in the meantime. And I rest.

doctor's offices can be frustrating

2009-05-04T20:41:00.003-05:00

So, today I called the doctor's office to set up my one-week follow-up with my doctor. The phones must've been busy, because it went to a machine and I had to leave a message. Someone from the office called me back after hours to schedule my appointment. She asked what I needed to see the doctor about, I told her I had surgery last Friday and that the doctor needed to see me for a one-week follow-up. Well, the gal told me I could come in on Wednesday, otherwise I'd have to wait until next week. She wasn't too helpful, either - seemed as if she wanted to get me off the phone quickly. Hmmm... I ended up setting an appt. for next Thursday morning. Before hanging up, I questioned if that was too far from the surgery, again restating that the doctor wanted to see me in a week. She (with a bit of a snotty attitude) told me the doctor didn't have anything else.

So, I called the office back and left a message for a nurse to call me tomorrow. I stated I had surgery last Friday and have some follow-up questions. I'm kind of hoping that my doctor just calls me, that way when I mention the appointment, I'm sure she'll just tell them to get me in this Friday! I know they must have times they can squeeze things like that in. I need to get the okay to return to work from her first - I can't wait another week! We'll see!

Oh, and today I finally started my period! (I know guys, TMI! LOL) At least it's been a few days post-op, so it's easier to deal with!

One more thing - my sister Val came by for a few today & she wanted to see the incision. I was glad, because she could get a better look than I could, and she answered a few questions for me! There's only those steri-strip type things on there, no stitches (I took off the bandages yesterday), the incision is slightly above my c-section scar, and it's about the length of my index finger (3 or so inches). That's all for now!

so far, so good

2009-05-03T14:46:00.002-05:00

Nothing too much to report over here... things are going pretty good. I'm resting a lot, which is kind of driving me nutty, but I know it's necessary. Yesterday the pain finally kicked in some, but not too bad. Today I decided to not take any meds for it, so I'd be more aware of the pain. I can't really sleep the day away, because Matt's sleeping (with church this morning & work tonight, the afternoon's the only time he could sleep today) and Kirsten's home. Not like I don't take naps when she's home, but I want to at least spend time with her reading & watching a movie or such. I'll have time to sleep/rest more while she's in school this week. Oh, the other reason I want to be aware of the pain today (aside from it keeping me awake) is so that I don't do things around here while Matt's sleeping! A friend dropped off a meal yesterday & I felt bad that the apartment's pretty messy. It's taking everything in me not to get up and do things, so being uncomfortable will remind me that I shouldn't be doing things, no matter if I want to or not! LOL (Understand the method to my madness now?!?) The pain's not horrible, anyway, and I have a pretty high tolerance. Also have that SISU thing, you know! ;)

Thanks to the friends that loaned me the laptop & Ethernet cord so I can do this via the couch... much more comfortable than sitting at a desk today!

Hope many of you got outside to enjoy the sun & nice air out there today... it's beautiful!!!

the post-scoop

2009-05-01T15:23:00.002-05:00

Things went well today. I'm on some good meds, so I mustered up enough energy to sit at the computer & give you a little update! LOL Unfortunately, we didn't get a lot of details from the doctor after the procedure. Now Matt knows how I feel every time I visit her for appointments - in, fast talking, then out she goes! The basics are that she was able to get the mass, took some surrounding tissue (I'm guessing it's at least about the size of a golf ball),sewed me back up, and that was that. It was only about a 20 minute or so surgery. She did have to do it by incision, but that's okay. We didn't get anything more than that really! I need to see her back in a week for follow-up.

So far, I'm not really in any pain, but I had quite a bit of help controlling that earlier! LOL We were just surprised with how fast I was able to leave. We're so used to Kirsten having problems with anesthesia and us having to stay for hours before we can go. Here, it was within 1/2 hour of being in the recovery room before we left. And that's including me eating a snack (raisin toast w/butter and some orange juice - yum!)!

Thanks a ton for your prayers and such! I'll get back to you as I can... Matt's telling me my time's up and I need to lay back down! :) Looks like he'll be keeping a close watch on me!

the scoop

2009-04-30T11:58:00.005-05:00

Hello! I know, I haven't been on here in eons. I keep attempting to, but things keep sidetracking me. You know, things like the obsessive Facebook craze! Anyhoo, I figured I finally had something big enough to push me back into the blogging world, so I hope this keeps the ball rolling again for me!

Tomorrow morning I'm having some surgery done. Nothing major, but then again, I have a tendency to downplay things! Here's my point of view: I have endometriosis (a girl thing, for you boys that might be reading! Google it!). It's on my c-section scar, and it's been slowly getting worse for the past few years or so. I finally realized I should get the lump removed, so it's happening tomorrow. This was the reason I was concerned with being sick last week, knowing the surgery would have to be postponed if I wasn't well in time. I figured if I had to reschedule, it'd take another year or two for me to make it happen! I'll be off work for a week & just laying around, resting up. Anyone got a laptop they'd let me use for a week or two?!? LOL

That's my viewpoint on the matter! Here's what someone else might say about it: I have endometriosis that's been progressively getting worse over the last several years. Every time I have a cycle, the lump becomes extremely painful and grows a little. Removing it has become a necessity. This is not being done laparoscopicly. This will be an invasive procedure and the doctor said I need to take a few weeks or so to recover.

My viewpoint is not to worry too much and freak out over something I can't control. I know God's in control, and things will work out fine. It'll be easier than my c-section (that's what I have to compare it to). The only thing I'm kind of wondering about is how large it is (I'm guessing golf-ball size?), and what if the doctor finds out it's actually something different?!? LOL

Anyway, that's the scoop of what's going on with me at the moment! I'm kind of doubting I'll be online tomorrow, so I'll see if Matt can get on here to do an update in the afternoon when we get home.

Oh, one annoying fact that you women can "ugh!" along with me on is this: the doctor wanted me on my period at the time of surgery. That way the lump is inflamed as much as possible, so she can take that out with some surrounding tissue. So, I took my 10 days worth of meds to start my cycle, and I'm still waiting for it to kick in! Oh, joy. NOT! I bet it'll start as soon as I'm completely relaxed, like Friday night when I'm doped up & sleeping. Talk about adding insult to injury! LOL

One last thing - one of the main reasons I'm sharing this is because I know many of you in my circle of family & friends would want to know. I know you'll be thinking of me & praying for me, and I really appreciate that. It's important to me to know if any of you are having something big going on in your life (I care about the little stuff, too, though!), so how can I expect you to randomly tell me things if I'm not doing the same? You know?!? So, you've been given notice... I expect to get updates from you on things, too! I love you! :)

P.S. If you ran across this & I didn't send you the info personally, I'm sorry! I was emailing around, and realized I didn't want to bug too many people about it! *blushes*

politics schmolitics

2008-09-25T07:50:00.008-05:00

I am not a politician. I could never be a politician. Main reason - I'm a very non-confrontational person. I couldn't emotionally handle the debates and the slandering and the back-stabbing and the constant lies. I'd have to have a really good right-hand man who could remind me which lie I told to whom and when, otherwise I'd forget! I have a hard enough time dealing with patients at work that don't want to update their forms when I ask them to - I can feel a rush of heat thru my body & I feel like I'm about to start shaking! I feel like screaming at them, then bursting into tears!

Matt talked with me this morning about the news of McCain wanting to delay the presidential debate. He wants to go to Washington to work for a bipartisan solution to the horrible economic state our country is in. Obama doesn't want to do that, stating that the next president needs to "deal with more than one thing at once." I know there's more than the financial issue at hand here. I'm not that naive to think otherwise. But still. There is this issue, and it's serious. We all know how much our own financial state is hurting, and we have a picture of how the country is suffering as well. We can see the changes we've been thru in the last several years, and we know it's serious. Change needs to happen. Change for the better must happen. And soon!

So, aside from their own personal angles Obama and McCain are playing during this situations, I've been thinking about what I feel they should do. I can tell you what I would do - I'd go to Washington. I'm saying if I were running, and this situation came up, that's what I'd do. My reason? I can't focus on two major things at once, and that's another reason I'd be a horrible politician! I wouldn't be able to worry about what I need to do to keep my campaign running with fundraising and meetings and interviews and debates and other events. If I knew I could help in any way in Washington with this financial matter, that's where I'd want to be. I'd want to focus all my attention and energy into that. Debates and interviews and such could wait a week or two.

The American people have a clear view by now of the candidates. Personally, I'm getting burned out with the constant commercials and ads and news and such about them. Maybe it's because of that long & dragged-out fight between Obama & Hillary. I was sick of hearing about candidates at that point! Granted, I don't have a clear-cut decision of who I'm voting for yet, but I'll get there. If they both decide to take a little break to go help our country now (not just waiting to see what they'll do when they become President), I'd be happy about that. I'd be happy to see them putting aside their differences, dropping the stupid "Democrat" and "Republican" labels and taking on their "American" label instead - that would make me proud. SHOW me how much you care for me - put your money where your mouth is and DO something now to help us out! Let me see some action, not just words!

*side rant*
Are you tired of the party labels? I sure am. I'm tired of hearing people that vote on an entire party only because it's what the rest of their family does, so they do. What happened to looking at the individual? I've voted for a President from each party before! I voted on who I felt was the best for the job at the time, not who is from which party. I'm tired of feeling that sense of arrogance from people that think the party they support is the best one around, and that if you vote otherwise, you're beneath them. Not as smart as they are. Not as cool as they are. Not as right as they are. What happened to being a united country? Americans, not Democrats or Republicans? I'm tired of it.
*end of side rant*

I didn't intend for this to be such a rant about politics, I just wanted to share my thoughts about this bit of news I heard this morning. There was a joint statement last night where McCain and Obama said our country is facing "a moment of economic crisis," and called for political unity to solve it because "the jobs, savings and the prosperity of the American people are at stake." Both of them said the Bush plan was "flawed." My final thought - let's see some unity. How about the both of you work together with the rest on board to help solve this. The debate can wait. Our financial futures can't.

unfocused

2008-09-18T10:33:00.003-05:00

I know, I really need to get back into this. If not for my own sake, for my mother-in-law's! LOL (I love you, Mom!) Many days I've found myself saying, "Oh, I need to blog about that!" Then, as you can see, I forget. Something about my focus has really been off-whack this year. More specifically since mid-spring or so. Maybe it was the whole move thing? During and after our move, for most of the summer actually, we had all sorts of car issues happening. Maybe that knocked me off my kilter? I'm not sure. I wish I could put my finger on whatever got me off-track so I can deal with it, recover, and get back to things. Then again, my "norm" around home has been different. Kirsten's in 2nd grade now, I've picked up more hours, and I'm really not online as much as I used to be. I think it's a good thing, but part of me still wonders why.

Anyway, I still have much unpacking & organizing to do around here. With more hours at work, I just can't seem to be motivated to do a lot. My motivation hits me when Matt's sleeping during the day. You know, when I can't get into our bedroom & tackle what's bugging me in there! Today I had the morning before work to do things. I did some online browsing & such (Facebooking, actually!) while having my coffee & bagel. Then I planned on attacking at least one box in the living room. I walked to the kitchen and realized I needed to make some Kool-aid. I also needed to empty the full ice trays so Kirsten could use the fun shapes (hearts & stars right now). One thing led to another & I ended up doing kitchen work - and quite a lot! Emptied the dishwasher. Restacked & put it running again. Got rid of any old foods in the fridge. Scrubbed down the inside of the entire fridge & freezer. Make the Kool-aid. Refilled the water pitcher. Poured myself a glass of orange juice, and here I sit!

So, I didn't get to the box I intended to today, but I did accomplish something! Nothing that helps me get closer to inviting company over (again - I love you, Mom!), but it's something that made me feel good doing. Maybe I'll find a small one I can clear out before work. I think I can manage that! :)

** It's been an hour or two since this post, and I have to add this... I'm about to hop in the shower to get ready for work, and I'm proud to say it's a spotless shower! I spent the time between that post and now to SCRUB the bathroom! Didn't get to the floor, but everything else is squeaky clean & sparkly! :)

look who's eight

2008-07-26T09:21:00.003-05:00

Today my little girl turned 8 years old! I wasn't quite sure what to say about this birthday on my blog here. I think I've posted enough sappy ones in the past where I've looked back to when she was born and the emotional circumstances surrounding that. So many of you already know the story, and the rest can either check my prior posts (here or here) or ask me later if you're curious. (I also have the story of her surgeries on our website.) I think what I'll do today is share some things about Kirsten with you. I'll paint a picture of who she is today...

* Her interest in music has really blossomed lately. She often plays a movie in her room (a Barbie Princess one) over and over, just to sing along with the songs.

* She still has training wheels on her bike. Matt & I joke around that she'll be like Phoebe from Friends - finally learning how to ride when she's an adult!
Honestly, she just gets bored of riding it, and she gets bored fast. Maybe it has something to do with it being more of a solo sport for her right now? She'd rather be playing with someone else!

* She'll be in 2nd grade in the fall. We've been reassured by last year's progress that again, we've made the right choice in giving her that extra year before starting Kindergarten. It was good for her, and she's doing great in school now. It's always very rewarding as a parent to see your decisions turning out for the positive!

* Kirsten really started taking off with her reading skills earlier this year, and she loves to read all the time. I even catch her reading to the toys in her room! It's so great!

* My Peanut absolutely loves animals! She has quite the collection of stuffed animals and little figurines, and her vivid imagination runs wild as she plays out all sorts of adventures with them! It makes my heart smile so big to see the amazing imagination she has! I love it!

* Like many kids (or girls, to be specific), she has moments of attitude issues at home with me. I think all kids tend to test their limits with their Moms the most. But for the most part, Kirsten just really wants to please others. We see this all the time when we watch her interact with others. Whether it's family or friends or complete strangers she's playing with at a local play area, she shares and offers to help and just wants to BE with whoever is there. I think the moments of frustrations mostly come now from just not being able to express her thoughts or emotions well. She really is such a sweetie who just loves being with others.

* Kirsten loves wearing dresses and skirts now. Her Daddy tells her that she's a beautiful princess, no matter what she wears, but she still likes to dress up to feel like one! I even catch her walking with her arms to her sides, hands tilted up and out, like Princesses in movies she watches! Too cute!

We were supposed to be up in Higgins Lake these past few days and through the weekend, but Matt's vacation schedule got messsed up at work. Instead, we're just going to spend the day together, doing things that Kirsten wants to do. On her agenda is a movie (yet to be determined) and a dinner at Red Robin... she loves the special treat, balloon, and song they sing to her!

Happy 8th birthday, my sweetie! We love you!!!

waiting to know God's plan

2008-07-12T21:49:00.003-05:00

"The lesson continues until the lesson is learned." I heard a friend quote that a week or so ago. Patience may just be something I'll never quite learn. I think it's a life-long lesson. Most often I feel okay and can be patient, and other times I can't. Maybe at this point in life it's based on the level of importance of what I'm waiting for? Nah, I sometimes get impatient for silly things, like waiting my turn in line at the store. But that's not often. Overall, I'm okay with waiting for things. Time seems to pass quickly enough. Just looking at my almost 8-yr.old daughter shows me that!

Right now, we're waiting for an answer. It's based around Matt's job. As most of you know, he's been working for Panera as a baker, working midnights. He started out with no baking experience (other than at home - and he's great here!), and I wasn't sure how he would like it. It quickly turned into something that he really enjoyed, and he began doing very well at his job. It's going on 4 years now since he started, and this year he's been pursuing avenues to see about advancing his career there. This really made me happy to see that he really wants to stay with this employer - to make this his "last job," so to speak. His career. Where he can retire from. I know what else is in his mind is what most men / husbands / fathers think of... he wants to continue to provide for his family, too. What he's pursuing is moving to management. That would mean switching to days, too. That in itself would be an adjustment for us all, but I'd welcome it with open arms & do whatever is needed to make it work best for us. He's taken tests, had interviews, and now we're just waiting for a response. A yes or no.

I really hope they give him the opportunity. They've already seen how well he's done at his current position, and I know he'll grow to exceed expectations in the next position, if given the chance. A downfall is that he doesn't have the experience, but I'm really hoping & praying that they'll let him gain the experience as he does the job, like he did with baking. He doesn't want to go elsewhere to get the experience, he wants to stay with Panera. I hope that they've been able to see his passion for this place. I sure do. And for those of you that know Matt, you know how he can be fun to be around. I've seen him in the past when we worked with the teens at our old church. I can only imagine how cool he'd be to work with!

And so we wait. It's been about a week so far, and I know these things can take time. But when it's something you want so very much... !!! I kind of feel like I did on Christmas morning as a child. I would wait on the stairs for everyone else to wake up & then we could go into the living room by the tree. I couldn't wait for those presents - I was so eager to open them! It's that same kind of excitement I'm feeling about this opportunity for my hubby right now! I'm excited for him!

Please pray with us as we wait! Of course, this would be an amazing experience for Matt if he gets it, but I also know there's a chance they'll say no. And rejection is always hard, no matter where it comes from. We just need to keep remembering that God is in control, not us. We need to wait and try our best to be patient. One of the coolest verses I know reminds me about this... Jeremiah 29:11 talks about God having a plan for us, a plan to prosper & not to harm us, a plan to give us hope & a future! Plan, prosper, hope, future... I think I can be patient with that. Someone much larger than me is in control, and I'm fully okay with letting Him keep it that way! I mess things up too much when I try running it all! LOL So I'll wait. And I'll pray. And I'll remind my husband that God's got it all under control.

and it's down

2008-07-08T18:58:00.002-05:00

We took the post down from the website. It looks like we're going to keep the silver Taurus now! Talk about confusing, huh?!? Seems like it's the best over-all investment and choice for us, so we're going to get the transmission fixed (or repaired or whatever it is - that's Matt's realm of phone calls!) and keep it. We're going to sell the blue Taurus & use that money towards the repairs on the silver one.

Yup, that's the plan! For now, at least! :)

wakey! wakey!

2008-07-05T10:14:00.002-05:00

(To the tune of "Wake up, little Suzie"...) "Wake up, little Ruthie, wake up!" I can hear that in my head, with Matt singing it to me. He hasn't done that in years, but I sure need an alarm clock with that on it! The cell phone alarm just doesn't seem to work for me. I hate setting my actual clock, because of the awkward timing between Matt getting home & going to sleep shortly before I'd like to wake up. I'd hate for him to just be falling into a deep sleep, only for my loud alarm to wake him. So, instead, I sleep in. Today I slept in until Kirsten came to wake me up. That was 10:45! Um, I'm all for getting some extra sleep like that on occasion, but since school's been out for her, I think our sleeping schedule has been getting quite off-whack!

Anyone else falling into the same pattern as me?!? Staying up late & sleeping in late?!?

wordless wednesday - with a little words - it's going up!

2008-07-02T16:45:00.003-05:00

In about 10 minutes, our pretty little car will be posted for sale on craigslist.org! We're hoping it'll sell! (Need the cash for getting something new!)

exercise over

2008-06-29T21:59:00.003-05:00

Wow, I actually posted for 7 days in a row! I think the main thing I've learned during this week is that I seem to be most productive with my blogs when I write in the morning. Granted, I'm not talking about early morning - not at least until I've had a cup of coffee 1/2 way in my system! I think I've just been getting too tired by evening, and my thoughts by then (like now) are all jumbled up. So, maybe tomorrow morning, after some coffee, I'll post a little about my weekend. It was quite busy, but very enjoyable! We had some quality family time, which always makes my heart so happy. Goodnight, and thanks for keeping up with my silly week of exercising here!

(Now, if only I could find a way to catch up on my blog readings!?! Any thoughts?!?)

day 7

2008-06-28T14:17:00.002-05:00

I did something productive today! We're going out with some extended family tonight to enjoy the beach & dinner & some fireworks (weather permitting), and my task is to bring some chips & a dessert. Normally, I would've just bought something yummy to bring. But even though I only had 2 hours before leaving, I decided to bake brownies! Yes, from a box, but I baked them! And I don't think (so far) that they burned or under-cooked! LOL So, did you do something you like to do yet?!?

day 6 - sisu

2008-06-27T10:33:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I wish I could just be a girly-girl. I wish I had all the time in the world to clean my home and make it as nice as I'd like it to be. I wish I could have girlfriends over for coffee (or either of my Moms!) while my daughter played quietly in the other room. I wish I could bake delicious goods from scratch, without even needing a recipe. I wish I could make my own unique and amazing cards to send out for birthdays and such. I wish my husband would always fill the tank with gas and would do all the "manly" things while I watch my soaps and eat bon-bons! I wish I liked pink more.

But that's just not me! My home is often messy, but we use it. I do have people over sometimes (when we're settled after moving, that is), and we laugh and enjoy one another's company while my daughter plays energetically (and often quite loud - she has FUN!) in the other room. I attempt to make things, from a box, with a recipe, and I sometimes burn them. But at least I try. I have wonderful ideas of creative things to make, but they don't always turn out the way I'd like them to. Sometimes a few will make the grade, and those are sent. But even the store-bought ones are filled with love (I take forever to pick out just the "right one"!), and I think my recipients know that. I fill the gas tank probably more than half the amount my husband does, only because it's really more convenient with my hours than his. I take out the trash, I move boxes, I put together cabinets (women follow the directions!), I move furniture, I fix the computer... I do "manly" things! And I have about 2 weeks of my soap on the DVR to catch up on, I'm not sure if I even like bon-bons (but I do like chocolate!), and I like pink... sometimes!

Growing up, I used to think my "toughness" was attributed to the fact that I have older brothers and wanted to impress them, letting them know I could keep up with them. Um, I don't know why I was thinking that - they're 4 and 11 and 16 years older than me! (Of course, I had sisters, too - 13 and 14 and 17 years older than me!) When I sit back and look at it now, sure, sometimes it might've been that. I can recall a time when I moved a pretty heavy chest of drawers from the main level to upstairs - including rounding a corner - by myself. I remember my Dad getting a little upset with me, but I loved the little gleam I saw in his eye as he caught me toward the end of the move. I'm not sure if it was really there or not, but I thought I saw it - and it was full of happy pride for his daughter. I'm sure a father must feel good when he sees his daughter doing things for herself. My Dad taught me a lot of things - I remember changing my own flat tires, adding oil and trans.fluids when needed, etc. I knew basic things, and I'm so thankful my Dad taught me those. Lifelong skills, ya know? Anyway, back to the proving I was tough thing! So, sometimes it might've been to prove I could keep up with the rest. Sometimes it was just to make them smile that I could do something. But I think a lot of it is purely genetic.

Genetic? Yes, it's SISU! A definition of sisu is described as "a Finnish term meaning, roughly, inner strength, determination, perseverance in the face of adversity, and a strong work ethic." The Wiki goes into more detail, but basically sums it up the same. Inner strength. Perseverance in the face of adversity. Strong work ethic. When I look at my Mom (she's 100% Finnish), she has always done so much. Sure, my Dad did a lot of the "manly" things around the house, but my Mom could, too. And when she worked at something, she did it whole-heartedly, and still does. She could do anything as far as I was concerned! And if I think of her Mom, yup, Gramma was the same way! They were both always hard-working women, determined, focused, always got the job done and did it right. They also knew how to have that feminine balance - they were sweet, very loving, giving, warm and caring. (Sorry for lack of more words - I only had one cup of coffee today!) They loved God and loved their families. They found that balance.

Sometimes I feel like I'm still striving to find that balance. Especially on days where I'm working, running for gas, picking up toilet paper & milk at the store, and tucking my daughter in at night. On days where I have to wait for the maintenance guy come repair something while I'm trying to unpack and organize the kitchen. On days where I have a church meeting and something else going on with Kirsten the same night. And on days when I have absolutely nothing on the calendar. But I have sisu! I have the drive! I also know it's something that God's instilled in the make-up of who I am. I just have to fight that procrastinating side of me to actually do the things I want to do!

Do you have something you've been putting off that you want to do? Take this weekend and see if you can make it happen! Whether it be a craft project, catching up on laundry, visiting someone you miss, reading a book... whatever it is, just do it! :)

P.S. See what happens when I actually blog in the morning?!? I have words! LOL

day 5

2008-06-26T22:26:00.002-05:00

Okay, this will be another wasted post, but again, it's for the routine I need to re-establish. I still haven't caught up on everyone else's blogs. I will, it'll just take time! It's odd how I really spend less than an hour or so online daily now. Huh! I do think of some good things I'd like to blog about, but they're during circumstances when I can't get online. Like today at work. I was doing pretests on a patient and thought of something good to blog about - now I can't remember what it was! D'oh! Oh well, another day, perhaps!

day 4 - wordless wednesday - pirate cupcakes (celebrating her summer bday before school ended)

2008-06-25T21:36:00.003-05:00

day 3

2008-06-24T22:42:00.002-05:00

Easily distracted. I bought a shirt for Matt that said that on it. I guess I should've picked one up for myself, too, because for some reason I completely forgot that I'm that way, too! Not all the time, mind you, but quite often. Even when I think back to my childhood, I can remember several times where I was attempting to do one thing, and never got around to doing it - something distracted me. Always happened when I was supposed to clean my room (or whatever other job I needed to do). And, of course, my Mom usually caught me off in my own little world, doing whatever it was aside from the task at hand. I had quite a vivid imagination as a child, and I know that played a huge part in my distractions. I would attempt to clean a large area, something small would catch my eye, and there I'd be stuck for an hour, in whatever imaginary world my mind took me and that object to. My Mom & I used to joke around when I was older that she could never ground me as a punishment... she'd have to ground me to the bathroom, yet I'd probably make men out of toilet paper and play war, flushing them down the toilet or something! That was just me! And the cool part is that I see that in Kirsten in a BIG way! (She gets it from her Daddy, too!)

Tonight I wanted to look for a few things for this wedding we're going to Friday evening. I knew I had some shoes packed away somewhere. Did I go to the box in the hall closet labeled "shoes" to look? Nope! I went into my bedroom. There was a box in there that for some reason was intriguing me to look inside. Maybe I was thinking I'd find some jewelry in there that I could use? I have no idea. Anyway, that turned into about 1/2 hour of rummaging. Then I turned my attention to the bathroom. There's still several small boxes in there with all sorts of nail polishes, toiletries, lotions, hair goods, etc., and I wanted to get that a little more organized. Which leads me to another point - not only do I get distracted easily, I'm also a big pack rat! I save WAY too many things! Well, I'm glad when I get in the purging mood, because that's quite helpful! I managed to fill about 1/2 of a big garbage bag full of ponytails and lotions and samples of things and razors and old mini toothpastes - things I really just needed to let go of! And I did it!

I still have another little box to finish up with, so hopefully I won't be much longer. Hmmm... now that I think of it, I believe I started the bathroom project to specifically look for a certain clear nail polish to use tonight! D'oh! LOL And I'll have to remember to at least peek in the shoe box in the hall closet. That's what I wanted to do in the beginning... 2 1/2 hours ago!

day 2

2008-06-23T22:27:00.003-05:00

Like I said, there may be days with not much substance to my posts, and this will be one of them! Nothing much at all to talk about at the moment. Well, there's plenty I can ramble on about, but I've been fighting off a headache all day. I think it's the weather (rainy). It's this "almost" headache behind my left temple, just sitting there, threatening to turn into a full-blown migraine if I don't treat it well. And one of the ways I can treat it well is to stay off the computer. When I feel like this and spend time in front of a monitor for any reasonable length of time, I get the headache. No, I think it's a migraine. Which means extreme discomfort, nausea, and it most always ends up with fast dash to the porcelain god. Of course, that relieves the pressure, I lay down for a bit, then all is well in my head! That is, if it treats me well!

So, I bid you all a night of pleasant dreams, and I'll be back sometime tomorrow!

exercising

2008-06-22T22:07:00.002-05:00

Oh no, I'm not going to talk about physical exercising here! No, that would be... um... a non-existent topic with me as of late! I haven't gotten my little heiney (hiney? heiney? I never quite figured out how our family spelled that word!) to Curves since the whole move. And now that school's out, it's gonna be quite difficult to find the time to go without Kirsten.

Anyway, like I said, I'm not speaking of physical exercise here, but rather an exercise for me to get back into blogging! Since we moved, things haven't quite settled down completely for me yet. I took a little hiatus from my online communities, and now I have to get back into the swing of things. Not only for my own enjoyment, but it's also been requested of others! So, my exercise this week is to post something every single day. Yup, EVERY day! I'll be honest, I'm sure some may be quite short or quite boring (or both). But I'm hoping it'll get me back into at least logging in and reading the blogs of family & friends (and unknowns that I lurk around at) that I enjoy.

So... that's it! Nothing else to add. No pictures or funny stories. No questions or thoughts. Just the beginning of my exercise routine for the week. (Hmmm... so now I can officially say that I am doing some regular exercise & not technically be lying! I like this idea! LOL)

xoxo

just call me the turtle

2008-06-14T07:10:00.002-05:00

As you can see, I've been slow to return to blogging. It's not because I don't have anything to share, and it's not because I've just been so stinkin' busy that I don't have time to write. It's basically, um, because I've just forgotten! I fell out of the loop with all of our crazy moving and such, and now I just keep forgetting to post! And I've been bad with reading others' blogs... please accept my apologies, everyone! I think my entire onlining experience has slowed down. I haven't even been on MySpace in well over a week (Yes! Surprising! I know! LOL)! My email inbox has piled way up again (nearing the 500 mark). I just need to step up my pace a little & get back into the swing of things online. So, hang in there if you've been waiting... I'll get something interesting up here this weekend! If I forget, send me a reminder via text or call - those emails I might just overlook! :)

clouds have silver linings and the sun is shining!

2008-06-02T10:01:00.002-05:00

I just sent a little update to some family & friends, but I figured I should copy/past it here, too, just in case!

It's been very interesting to see how God's been providing for us on pretty much a daily basis around here! One friend let us borrow their station wagon for several days, which helped us through the move. We ended up having to rent a car for 3 days, but then we were able to borrow a van from some friends that are on vacation right now. If we still need a vehicle when we return this one, we have some family that has an extra that we can use for a while. It's been a little fun for me to drive different vehicles around - I just have to be sure not to get too attached! LOL (Interesting fact - the rental was my least favorite to drive so far, and I think it was the "newest" of them all!)

We're still trying to figure out financing the repairs, but I know it'll all work out! It seems the 401k route is a dead end, so we'll just have to wait a little while & save up before we can fix either of our cars. We've got several options in our minds of what we might be able to do: 1) fix the blue car, which might be the least expensive route, and wait to save funds to fix the silver one... 2) sell the blue car and save to fix the silver one... and 3) sell both cars and see if we can find an inexpensive used car to purchase.

So, thank you for your prayers - God sure is showing Himself to us in many ways! We know we're in good hands!

P.S. If you have any info on a good used car we might be able to consider, please call or email Matt. I figured I'd leave the car details to him, and I'll just keep focusing on unpacking & organizing this place!

quick little update on our family

2008-05-29T09:48:00.002-05:00

For those of you that read my blog on occasion for fun, or if this might be the first time you've surfed over to this part of the blogging world, please accept my apologies for the boring post here! This post is an update for family & friends that are wanting to hear how things are going - it's been a crazy few weeks for us! I promise as things settle down more, I'll return to my regular nonsense postings! Scout's honor!

For the rest of you that are looking for the update on life, I'll be a tad generic, but will give you the general idea of what's happening! There's just sooooo many details to everything, and it's really not needed at this point.

Let me start by sharing a little verse my Mom showed me the other week (I'll use NIV). Acts 17:26 (this is talking about God) "...and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live." My Mom showed that to me, trying to encourage me, and it did. God knew we were going to be suddenly homeless. He knew we still had to finish the year out of Kirsten's school at the same place. He knew we might have a hard time finding the right place to live, but He had it here ready & waiting for us.

A week ago Sunday we were told to leave where we were staying. No warning, just pick up what we could at the moment & leave. My parents were gracious enough to let us stay with them, knowing that would be easiest for transporting Kirsten to & from school (they're about 2 miles from there). Keep in mind, we also had only one car at this point (see the post here for that info). Throughout last week, it was literally a day-to-day issue of trying to find a place to move to. We did our best to focus some attention & extra loving on Kirsten, who was feeling confused by the situation. For her, it turned out to be a week of slumber parties at Grandma & Grandpa's house. We had started out pursuing one apartment that we liked, and in that process, we ended up returning to the apartment we lived at last year (we were there for 3 1/2 yrs). Our intention was just to obtain some documents from the new landlords, but God obviously had another idea in mind - this is where He wanted us to move back to! The day that all happened (last Wednesday), Matt & I were a bit stunned by what was going on. We NEVER would've thought about the place, but it just happened! Definitely a God thing! No other way to explain it! I'll post another time about the details of this apartment. Let me just say it's completely different from how it used to be!

So, we had found a place, and were lining up arrangements with people that offered to help us move. During all this, our remaining car (the silver Taurus) pooped out on us. The transmission went. Yup, another thing went wrong! No car!!! We shared this information with family & friends, and I tell you it's been absolutely amazing to see the love & generosity people have been blessing us with! AMAZING! Some friends let us borrow their very cool station wagon (yes, seriously, I fell in love with the thing! it's so cool!) for about 4 or 5 days. We ended up moving in here on Sunday with the help of a bunch of people (one of which is an outstanding organizer of the whole moving process! blew me away!), and Sunday evening we met some friends for a nice & relaxing BBQ. Oh, and someone even watched Kirsten for the day on Sunday so we wouldn't have to worry about her getting hurt or anything while we moved. Monday we went for the last few things we couldn't fit Sunday, then we joined some family for a BBQ. Aaaah, it sure felt good to sit & relax a little! Tuesday we rented a car & returned the wagon. Tomorrow we'll return the rental and we'll be using a van from some friends that are going on vacation for a week. The hope is that we'll be able to get the trans fixed by the time we need to return the van. If not, we've had an offer of another vehicle from someone else that we can borrow for a while.

Can you see how cool this is all working out?!? For as absolutely stressful and unsettling as it all is, it's also very beautiful to see and experience the love and friendships and relationships that we have with so many people! During a lot of this, I couldn't help but keep thinking of another verse - Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" With all that's gone terribly wrong in the past few weeks, I've known it's not God that's throwing all this garbage our way, wanting us to fail. My Father doesn't work that way! I know He loves me and wants good things for me! And as we're working through it, I can see some of the great lessons we've been learning along the way.

So, to wrap up this huge story (which I said would be short! LOL), we're just waiting now on getting the car fixed. It's mainly an issue of funds (sudden moves will do that to you!), and we have an avenue we're pursuing, but so far it's not working out (401k at work). We'll just keep praying and keep trying and see what happens! Oh, and we'll keep unpacking, too (this place is loaded!)!

Thanks to so many of you for your kind words and thoughts and prayers. I love you all!

unanswered questions

2008-05-17T17:18:00.003-05:00

I have some questions. The thought of this began at 4:12am today. Yes, I said 4:12am. There is such a time on the clock, honest, there is! So, at 4:12am today, I heard birds chirping outside. Why? Why would birds be chirping so early? The sun wasn't up. The rule is that they were supposed to be sleeping, like me. Not up. Definitely not chirping. There's no reason to chirp at 4:12am. No reason at all. My friend Marie told me she wants to inject her neighborhood worms with Benadryl to see if that helps at all!

Since I mentioned the birds, I might as well mention the bees. So, my question: why do bees (& wasps & hornets) fly around my car? I especially notice this when I have the windows down & stop at a light. That forces me to roll up the windows, trapping me in the heat-ridden vehicle until the light changes & I can gasp for fresh air in safety from the flying devils. Another time I notice them is in cases like leaving work today - one was flying around my car. I walk one direction, it follows. I go around the car the other way, and it circles opposite, coming back to me. Why? What's the point? Do I have an invisible "Taunt Me!" sign visible only to them?!?

Another question: who has the right of way in this type of turn? I'm talking about the crude drawing below...

Does the car at point A have the right of way, or does the car at point B? Who gets to turn first? (I should say let's assume also that there's a light there. There most usually is.)

I thought I brought this last one up before, but for some reason I can't remember. Must be old age. Anyway, why do school buses stop on railroad tracks? Seems to me that if they look at an oncoming train while they're on the tracks, they'll get hit. I just don't understand that one. Almost like the issue of how seat belts are a law, especially for kids, but school buses don't use them. I think I understand the safety issue. Then again, I was in a pretty bad bus accident when I was a teen, and I almost think seat belts might have helped some of us a little.

That's it! Feel free to chime in if you have any answers to my silly questions! :)

housing update

2008-05-15T13:23:00.002-05:00

Just giving a little update here on our housing situation. A week ago I posted here about my frustrating in waiting to find out if we're going to buy a home next month or just rent again. We finally heard back from the mortgage guy, and he basically told us we're just not in the position to buy yet. We're really close, but not quite there. So, we knew our option was to rent. There's already an apartment not too far away that I've looked at and was happy about. I even found out a family member lived there for a little while & was pleased with the services, etc. That was good to hear.

So, as soon as I'm settled in the fact of renting again, a big gorilla-wrench got thrown at me a few days ago! A patient at my work is a Senior Home Loan Consultant, and my friend S at work was talking to her about a loan (S is moving soon, and contemplating buying her first home). S was super excited about all that this woman told her she could do for her, so I started mulling over the possibilities. I wonder if this woman could do something for us? Even if the other guy told us no, could she give us a yes? I figured it wouldn't hurt to just ask, so I did, and she's looking into it. She didn't give me any time frame yet, but I'm hoping it's not long. My patience isn't that great lately with all this!

Buy now? Or rent? Buy? Rent? Buy? Rent? ...aaaaghhhh!!!!!

I do really love the idea of an apartment, though... clean, white walls... new carpeting... just that beautifully, clean, untouched palate for me to create a home into! But the thought of our first home... a place for Kirsten to call her own HOUSE, a yard, the possibility of a dog, Kirsten can stay in the same school for more than one year, painting walls whatever color we want, planting flowers of my very own (makes me think of my Grandma, whom I miss dearly)... MY HOUSE. I like that idea very, very, very much. Very much.

I know we'll all adjust either way. I just wish I knew what God's plan was for all this in our lives right now!!! ...aaaaghhhh!!!!!

breaking from the norm

2008-05-14T07:26:00.002-05:00

I'm taking a break from my weekly "Wordless Wednesday" photos to share a story instead. A situation that's been a topic of conversation between me & my spouse for many a year. Let me preface this with saying that I'm opening myself up to you all here. I'm about to share something that many, many women would never dare talk about to others, especially in a place like this, where any and everyone could learn about it. It may also seem a bit offensive for some, and I apologize for that.

Here it is - I'm a farter. Yup, you heard me right. I fart. And sometimes, I fart a lot. Fart. Pass gas. Toot. Fluff. (That one just doesn't make a lot of sense to me - it's like trying to sugar-coat poop! LOL) Breaking wind. Whatever you call it, it's the air that comes from below. It's a completely natural thing, yet so many people avoid the subject of it. Are embarrassed by it. Won't admit they do it. But you know they do. EVERYONE DOES. My daughter even proudly (accompanied with giggles) announces when she does it. I come from a family of farters. My brothers fart. Loud and proud. Stink and all. My sisters fart. Their husbands fart. We're farters. Of course, we also know when & where is appropriate. We're not work farters or church farters or funeral farters or out to dinner farters - we're home stinkers. In our comfort zones. Relaxing and being at peace. We fart.

The situation at hand is the conversation Matt & I had about it this morning. And last night. And I'm sure a few days prior. And a week prior to that. It's what we talk about so much, but it's an issue that will never be resolved. I think he has unrealistic expectations, and he thinks I just refuse to oblige his request. What is that, you ask? He wants me to hold it in when I'm around him. Not for the fact that he's objected to them in general - he lets his rip whenever he so pleases! But it's because he calls mine "EVIL" incarnate. They stink. It's very rare that they don't. I think it's genetic. Something. But they do, and there's apparently nothing I can do to change that! So, here's an example of a scenario: we're in the bedroom watching tv. He just lets them loose. Loud and proud. I let one tiny one slip, and he freaks out. I mean, FREAKS OUT! Shirt over his head, groaning, complaining, and I'm sitting there laughing! He says I need to stop doing that. I argue he can, so why can't I? He says it's because his don't stink (they rarely do), and mine do (they rarely don't). I say it's a natural thing. He says the smell that comes out with mine is something completely unnatural, something of an evil nature.

And there the conversations stays. Until the next time. Now, I have perfected the art of being able to hold in the rest of my nether-region functions. If I have to go potty, I'm really good at waiting. Believe it or not, even if it's the runs. I get those so frequently (dumb IBS issues) that I've just learned how to hold it in, no matter the pain. Of course, as I age, I'm sure that won't be as easy or feasible!

So anyway, if you feel like touching such a silly subject as this and giving your two cents, please, fire away! Make it as stinky or as flowery as you wish! I'm just wondering if anyone else sees my point of view on this! Sure, I feel for the guy to have to deal with my stink, but really, is it my control of how they come out?!? Can I change the aroma of them? No, it's out of my hands. Yes, and out of my fanny, too! LOL

my weekend

2008-05-11T21:19:00.002-05:00

Had a few different things happen over the weekend, so I thought I'd just give a little update of life here this way!

Friday we kind of threw together & implemented last minute the plan of moving some furniture. When we left our last place of residence, we got rid of our living room things. A friend of mine at work was getting rid of a lot of furniture from her place, and offered some to us. We were originally talking about doing the moving today, but I had the notion of it working better Friday evening. Matt called a friend to help, we rented a truck, I made sure my friend and my parents (my folks are letting us keep the things there for a month) were available, and we did it! Got it done within an hour even!

Saturday I brought Kirsten to my sister Val's house for my niece Louise to watch while I went to a lunch/meeting with some friends from church. While I was there, Matt took our good car up to our friend Mike's place, and the two of them worked on giving it a much-needed tune-up. While on the way home from my lunch/meeting, my car (I was driving our older blue car) decided to freak me out - the steering was locking up! God was gracious enough to allow the wheel to hold off until I made the turn onto a side road (for those who know the area, I turned off Schoenherr onto Common). I drove down as far as I could, and stopped the car. What had happened was that as I was driving, I could feel the wheel not wanting to let me turn it left at all. Right after I made the right turn onto Common, the wheel didn't want to let me turn it in either direction! Yikes! I was only about 1/2 mile or so from my sister's house, so I called them to say I was running a little late. I called to tell Matt of what happened, and I walked to my sister's. I ended up getting a nice visit in with her & the family (my brother-in-law Dave even took me to the car to see if adding some power steering fluid would help - it didn't) & they brought Kirsten & I home before they headed to church. Oh, Dave ended up driving my car back to their house so it wouldn't be sitting on another street - he said it was quite tough to move! Hey, at least I got some exercise in by that walk!

Sunday (today) was a nice low-key day. Kirsten & I went to church in the morning & Matt stayed home (not feeling 100%). When we got home, we promptly changed into some comfy pj pants & sweatshirts - with the rainy weather, we were going to have a cuddly, snuggly, comfy day! I made up some sloppy joes for the two of us (Matt was sleeping, and he doesn't like them anyway), and we watched some tv in her room while eating. We did some lazy stuff on our own, then we spent some time together doing girlie stuff (I gave her a manicure & pedicure)! We read some, cuddled in my room & watched some tv, had snacks, and just chilled out together. No running around to visit a bunch of people, just a day at home being Mommy to my Peanut, and I enjoyed it very much!

We'll probably go Tuesday to pick up the blue car & bring it home. I'm really curious as to what's wrong with it. I'll be praying it's something minor, but I have a bad feeling that it's just dying. It's old. It's served us well. But it sure would be nice to get a few more years out of her!

working on one that was barely hanging in there - too bad I missed the shot of Daddy using the pliers! It worked great!

2008-05-07T07:00:00.006-05:00

the need to nest

2008-05-06T08:08:00.002-05:00

I really, really, REALLY need to know what in the heck is happening with our future living situation! We have a little over a month left before we need to leave where we are, and we still don't know if we're able to buy a house or not. If we don't buy right now, we'll be renting an apartment. We're giving the mortgage guy until the end of this week to give us a final answer. Last we heard from him (which was Friday, after days of unreturned calls & emails), he was still waiting for our credit report to be updated. He said he should've been able to get back to us yesterday. Yesterday came and went without a word. If we don't hear from him this week, I'll let him know that we'll just have to put this on hold for 6 months or so. We'll rent an apartment. We'll use that time to continue chipping away at whatever piddly medical bills are left on our credit report. And we'll save what we can for when we can buy a home. I'm not crazy of the thought of moving ALL our things for one year (or less) and then moving them ALL again. But if that's what needs to happen, that's what we'll do. I just need to feel settled into my OWN place. I so desperately desire to hang photos up - I think that's the thing I miss the most!!! I want pictures up on my walls, on my dressers, in Kirsten's room, all around our home! I want photos of family & friends that we know and love! I want to see them on a regular basis, and I want Kirsten to see them, too! I've been reading my friend Rebecca's photography blog, and she's been putting so many great ideas there (her weekly video blogs) of how to make photography a wonderful part of your home. I can't wait to implement some of those ideas!!!

Thirteen years ago today, Matt and I were married. Little did we know what the road ahead had in store for us. Sure, we've made some poor choices along the way, but we've made many good ones, too. We've grown individually and together. We have a daughter, an amazing blessing from God (truly, if you knew the full story of her from even the attempt at conception on, you'd understand what a miracle she is to us!). We have our little family. And we have our extended family and friends who we love dearly and are so happy to be growing along with in this journey of life together. We know that more changes are ahead, and we're embracing them, hand-in-hand. We'll make the best of them, with a lot of prayer, too.

I just can't wait to start collecting my twigs to lay down!!!

social butterfly

2008-05-05T09:14:00.002-05:00

My daughter is a social person. I'm so glad she is. I like that she wants to please others. She enjoys making others happy. She sometimes does this to a fault. For example, the other week she told me after school one day that she wanted to give a few of her Webkinz to a couple of her girlfriends from her class. She hasn't grasped the concept of how much they cost. She just wants to make her friends happy by giving them something she really enjoys herself. I've also had to address the issue with her on more than one occasion how she is not to give her school snacks away anymore. I send just enough for what she needs, yet she often tells me of this particular boy that asks for them, and she always hands over the goods. When she buys a lunch, I send $3 with her, expecting my 25¢ change. More often than not, she gives it away before it makes its way home.

Kirsten loves company. She loves being around others. She enjoys going to peoples' homes to visit. She's very excited for when we move and she can have friends over to play, and even have some slumber parties. She just so enjoys interacting with whoever is around - babies, kids, adults - anyone!

It's hard for her to understand that some people just aren't keen on the company of children. She doesn't understand the sarcastic remarks or annoyed looks. I think when it comes from someone she knows well, like family, the only thing it does is cause confusion and it hurts her feelings. She doesn't get what they feel, and she ends up feeling unloved. I wish I could explain it to her in a way that she could really grasp, but on the other hand I don't want to. I don't want to tell her why some grown-ups are crabby to her. I don't even understand myself why some people are like that. Kids don't understand how we adults often get extra impatient with them when we're not feeling well. I wonder how we got that way? So often when kids are sick, they mostly get extra lovey-dovey & cuddly & sweet. Sometimes they get crabby, sure, but we let them know so they can try to change. Unfortunately, you can't tell adults when they are, or they get worse!

The thing I understand is that sometimes children interfere with the selfishness of adults. There's no reason to sugar-coat that - it's basically what it boils down to! They want to talk with us, and we'd rather watch our television program quietly. They want to dance all around the room, and we'd rather be able to get where we're heading without anyone in our way. They cry over the littlest things, and we think they're uncontrollable babies. The thing a lot of adults don't understand about kids is that THEY'RE KIDS! We shouldn't want them to act like us, because THEY'RE KIDS! They're gonna act like a child because they are! Yes, they need to be quiet at times, and they need to be responsible, but we also need to understand and accept that they're still learning. They don't always understand even their own feelings & emotions. They don't fully grasp the concept of so many things, and I'm glad they don't. They're only kids for such a short amount of time. We need to understand that. Embrace that. And be patient with that.

We were all children at one point in our lives. It seems like forever ago since I was, and I'm only 37. I want my daughter to enjoy these years. She's already almost done with the first grade. Almost turning 8 years old. She's still so innocent in so many ways, ways that some other kids her age are not, and I yearn for that to last as long as possible.

I remember hearing how I used to get in trouble in school when I was a kid. It was most always for talking to others. I was always very social, like my Peanut is. I was always & still am a people pleaser, just like she is. Part of me wants to warn her of some of the dangers of being like this (like people taking advantage of us), but I won't just yet. I'll let her enjoy making friends and being a friend. And loving others. I love that she does that with all her heart. I know God enjoys seeing that, too!

wordless wednesday - stars w/o makeup - some are natural beauties, and some, well, let's just say they do better with the wonders of Hollywood's help!

2008-04-23T07:24:00.007-05:00

Adriana Lima (supermodel, but plain jane w/o makeup)

Alicia Silverstone

Cameron Diaz (WOW!)

Courteney Cox (doesn't she look just great either way?!?)

Eva Longoria (this one surprised me!)

Halle Berry (see what you can do w/your own hair & makeup staff?)

Jessica Biel (not bad, just needs a little foundation!)

Pamela Anderson (yeah, that's a good one!)

Penelope Cruz (huh!)

Rosario Dawson (natural beauty!)

Sharon Stone (again - WOW! makes me less paranoid about my facial imperfections!)

change of plans

2008-04-21T08:31:00.002-05:00

There's something on my mind, yesterday especially, that I want to write about. It's just some parenting struggles and I'd really like to ask for some advice. Last night, I had every intention of blogging about it. But as I was sitting at the computer, looking at the clock inching towards 11pm, I suddenly had a craving for some ice cream. Edy's Slow-Churned Strawberry. It's half the fat - does that mean I can eat twice as much? The craving overpowered the other thoughts in my mind, and I scooped up a bowl, curled up in bed, and watched some meaningless tv until the ice cream was gone. It was nice. It sent me off into peaceful slumber. That slumber was interrupted at around 1:30am when Kirsten came in and asked if she could sleep with me. Of course I said yes to my little sweetie. Funny thing - she woke me up twice (or was it 3 times? I forget now!) to ask me to be quieter... I was snoring too loud & kept waking her up! And here I thought I wasn't sleeping well (I seem to wake up often when she's in bed with me)! Sorry, Peanut!

I'll blog later with my parenting concerns... I really need some opinions on what to do.

life, interrupted

2008-04-17T12:03:00.002-05:00

Since the arrival of my visitor last Friday, I've pretty much been out of the loop on my normal day-to-day activities. I was looking forward to catching up on some things this week. I should know better. Procrastination never seems to work out for me! Tuesday, my normal day off, I ended up working to help cover someone's shift (my friend's father passed away Saturday, so she's off this week). I did end up hitting the grocery store on my way home, doing 2 loads of laundry, cleaning fruits & veggies (which I always prolong... and often waste because they go bad while waiting for my attention!), and making a new recipe for dinner (it turned out yummy!). So, even though I wasn't home all day, I was still quite productive. But I was looking forward to today, Thursday, to hit Curves again. No such thing. Kirsten stayed home sick today. Bummer. She'd been coughing for a few days & had been running a low fever since Tuesday. So, no running errands like I wanted to. No exercise like I was planning to. No cleaning around the house like I was hoping to. I decided to finally stop moping for the loss of my morning, and to spend a little quality time with my girl (amongst the small crabby tantrums she threw, of course! gotta love the over-emotional sick girl!). We played, read, and had a nice lunch together. Now it's time for me to get ready & head off to work. Daddy gets the second shift of the day with her, and she's already got a few things lined up to do with him! I guess I gotta remember to just make the best of the situation... roll with it, interruptions and all!

wordless wednesday - Happy birthday, Daddy! I love you! (silly picture from March)

2008-04-16T18:01:00.006-05:00

yes, I am actually happy about this

2008-04-11T07:22:00.002-05:00

Okay, I know to many, this may not seem like something at all worth celebrating, but to me it is... I finally started my period today! In the pursuit to better health, I realized I needed to get this induced. I mean, it's only been since September since the last one... not healthy! I started the 10 days of meds last Sunday and have been impatiently waiting for it's arrival. It came this morning, in all it's crampy glory! So, I'm skipping Curves and planning on eating as much junk food as I so desire today. But I'll be doing it with joyful heart... and painful nether-regions! :)

wordless wednesday - aliens in the bathroom door (can you see them?!?)

2008-04-09T21:12:00.003-05:00

he doesn't know his own strength

2008-04-08T21:33:00.002-05:00

Matt returned to the doctor this morning for one final follow-up on his recent mess of illnesses (mostly the pneumonia). Seems that he's all clear & healed up. Well, everything except his ribs, that is. What, you ask?!? He apparently cracked a rib from all the coughing he was doing while sick! That explains the pain in his chest at least!

wordless wednesday - she said she's going to the prom

2008-04-02T19:09:00.004-05:00

updates

2008-04-01T11:23:00.003-05:00

Time for a few updates on what's happening in our little corner of the world!

Last Tuesday Matt had a follow-up appointment with the doctor to see how his pneumonia was progressing, and if he could return to work. They found he was still running a low-grade fever, and with a few x-rays they saw he still had some issues in his lungs. Another few days off work were prescribed, and out the door he went. He finally returned to work later in the week, and he's doing much better. He still has issues with his chest being tight & hurting, and he still tires quite easily, but he's on the mend.

Today we met with our mortgage guy. We went into the meeting feeling sure that we'd be leaving with a clear picture of what we'd be doing. We'd know whether we could buy now or rent for another year. Well, little did we know that the guy was pretty set on us buying! He brought papers for us to start signing & everything! My head's spinning a little, but it's kind of exciting to know this is actually a strong possibility! The problem is that we only have a few months to move out of my brother's place, and I don't know if that's enough time for us to finish getting everything we need taken care of to get our credit in the shape it needs to be in. Unless we win a big lottery, I'm not quite sure how this is going to happen. Then again, we do have a clear picture of what we need to do. Now we just need to get cracking on it! (Not just bill paying, but calls need to be made, documents obtained, etc.) So if we're not able to go out for dinner or see a movie with any of you that might be reading this, you know why! We've got a big goal here and a short amount of time to reach it!

I'll be sure to update again another time when there's more news to share!

Oh, I almost forgot to update on my OB/GYN appointment (yes guys, you can close the page right here & now!)! I went last Tuesday & was given meds so I can jump start my 6-mo.late cycle. The doc's still concerned about my heart health risks, and we talked some about that. She asked me questions about my sleep, and would like me to go to a sleep clinic. Yeah, maybe in the fall when I have a moment to breathe! They drew blood & called me a few days later to say everything looked good except my folic acid is a bit low. I'm sure some vitamins can help that. Oh yeah, she also addressed the whole b.control issue again (not for pregnancy prevention, since we know that'd be a miracle, but for the other issues). She really seems to want me to try an IUD... anyone do one of those before that can share the experience/side effects??? Not keen on using anything, so I'll just wait a while. She also wants me to see a nutritionist and maybe attend a seminar on healthy eating / PCOS / insulin stuff. Yeah, again, do I have the time?!? Oh, and she wants me to go for one of those 2 hour sugar fasting drink the junky stuff blood draws. Then I'll see her at the end of April. There, that's that update! LOL (What a mouthful, huh?)

gimme shelter

2008-03-28T13:37:00.003-05:00

Last fall, just before school started, Matt & I decided to move out of the apartment we were living in. A lot of changes were going on there due to a new owner, and we had a strong feeling that we needed to get out of there. My brother Paul was kind enough to take us in, so we moved into his house just shortly before Kirsten started first grade. A few months later, I drove by our old apartment. It looked completely vacant. It seems they made everyone leave so that they could work on rennovating the place. So, we made a good decision to leave when we did, before they forced us out.

The plan now is to move after school ends in June. The dilemna is where to go. Do we try another apartment? Or condo? Or a house?

1. Apartment: Matt thinks I'm hesitant because of bad experiences we've had. The last place we were at (for over 3 years) had a history of never fixing problems, and I didn't quite feel safe there, in spite of the fact that it was only 1/2 mile away from the city's police headquarters. Matt feels there's plenty of other places out there that are cleaner & safer & all-around better. The biggest hesitation I have with renting an apartment is fearing that we'll get stuck. One year could quickly turn into three, then five, then ten, then that's it. I don't want that. I want a yard. I want a dog again someday!

2. Condo: Rent or buy? There's association fees that would add to the monthly cost. Condos do have the benefit of giving us more of a home-like feel than an apartment would, but I think the cost might be too high.

3. House: Renting a house doesn't look all that possible. I haven't found many that would be in our price range. Buying brings the fear of hidden problems. What if we move in and suddenly the furnace breaks? Or the roof leaks?

With whatever decision we make, I would really like us to stay in the same school district that we're in now. I really like it. Kirsten's been here for 4 of her 5 school years (yes, she started at 3 yrs.old! but she needed it & really benefited from it!), and they've had some excellent programs that she's been a part of. Part of me is leaning toward renting something for another year. That would give us a little more time to save, and work on knocking our debt down more (mostly all medical bills).

We meet with our mortgage guy again on Tuesday. Hopefully, whatever he goes over with us can give us a clearer picture of which route to pursue. I just can't wait to have our own place again. I miss having company over. I want to let Kirsten have friends over - even sleepovers sometimes. I miss having our photos out in the living room. I miss burning candles. I miss dancing around to fun music with Kirsten. Soon enough.

Any thoughts or opinions?

there's something to be said for spontaneity

2008-03-27T08:19:00.007-05:00

The way things have been working out, it looks like when last-minute plans are made, those are the ones that seem to happen (more often than ones that are attempted to be planned ahead). For instance, there's a few friends that I've been trying to hang out with for a month or two now, and it seems like every time we come up with a mutual working date, something comes up last-minute that prevents us getting together. Maybe I should try with them what I've tried with a few other girlfriends lately. A few weeks ago I called my sister & we were able to hook up the next evening. This week I called my friend Vickie on Monday and we made plans for Tuesday. That morning, I called our friend Michelle and she was able to meet up with us. Then yesterday, my friend Karen commented on my blog. It was the post about the broken window. She joked that it sounds like an issue that required some sangria medicine! I figured, "Hey, why not?!?" and sent her a message. We ended up getting together last night!

We tried a new spot - Ruby Tuesday. The martinis were delicious, well received by us, and we split a yummy dessert!

I think I'll have to continue trying this last-minute planning - it seems to be working!

bad bunny

2008-03-25T20:52:00.002-05:00

This is what the Easter Bunny brought Kirsten...

This is what he brought me & Matt...

!!!

Alright, so maybe that wasn't from the Easter Bunny! Some punks have been vandalizing some cars in the neighborhoods, and sometime during the night/early morning they hit ours and one a few houses from us. The police were called, a report was made, and we were left to clean up the mess.

Matt did an excellent job of covering the window...

We were a bit late getting to our family Easter celebration, but thankfully they were patient in waiting for us to finish fixing this mess. Our brother-in-law is helping find a new window for us, and hopefully we'll get that in this week sometime.

I wonder if I leave out some carrots next year, will the Bunny be nice to us again?!? ;)

we've been hit... part 2

2008-03-18T12:55:00.005-05:00

The quiet didn't last very long after I saved that last post. Within minutes, Matt came out of the bedroom, concerned about something. He'd been coughing more, and is now having some production to the cough, but there was quite a bit of red in it. I debated about what to do, ended up calling the doctor's office (where he went Friday), and they wanted him to come in, just in case. Well, examination & x-ray & questions led to the diagnosis - he has pneumonia. Yup, pneumonia, on top of (or overlapping slightly with) the influenza b. Great. His fever's still in the 102 range... been like that since Saturday night at the hospital. Poor guy. No wonder he's hurting all over so badly. They gave him a shot of antibiotics in the fanny and a few scripts. The doctor wants to see him again tomorrow. I hope he's feeling well enough to drive by then because I'll be at work, unfortunately. If he doesn't improve in the next day or so, then he'll have to be hospitalized. At least it's something we can put our finger on. Now he knows it's just not in his head. We've been doing everything at home that we were supposed to. Now we can treat this new diagnosis and hopefully he can start feeling some relief by this evening. That's what I'm praying for. That, and the rest of us not getting it (even though Paul unfortunately has something now).

serene

2008-03-18T07:25:00.004-05:00

"Calm, peaceful, or tranquil; unruffled"... that's the definition of serene. Doesn't that just sound amazing?!? I'm in a moment of that right now. Kirsten's off to school, the rest of the household is in bed, the lights are off, the TV is off, my coffee's by my side, my jammies are still on, and the only sounds I hear are that of my keyboard (I really would love to find a quiet one!) and the birds chirping outside.

Aaaaah!

These are the moments I love! Moments I can just think. No interruptions. Just my thoughts.

Which brings up a question I have for you. It may be a strange question, but it's the one that popped into my head, nevertheless! Do you set your alarm clock to go off on the hour? I guess I can best explain it by telling you what I do. If I know I should get up at 7:00, I set my alarm for 7:01. If I should get up before 6:30, I set it for 6:24. I set it for weird times like that. Always have. 7:41. 8:17. 6:01. Maybe it's because I somehow subconsciously feel I'm getting more sleep by having it one minute past the hour? I don't know, but I notice that I've always done this! So, I'm just putting this out there and asking if anyone else has a weird time thing like I do with alarms?!?

It's a rainy day. The kind where I normally would've gone back to sleep. But I absolutely cherish this quiet time I've got going on here! Soon enough others will be up. Lights will come on. The television will be turned on. Noise and distractions will set in. Soon. But for this brief moment, I can think. I can read. I can hear the words that I'm reading. I can process thoughts. I love it.

Aaaaah!

we've been hit!

2008-03-16T21:28:00.004-05:00

It's official. Influenza B has invaded our home. Well, more like it's invaded my husband! Matt is officially illin'... big time! It started earlier in the week with coughs & a fever. The aches & pains started next & knocked him out of work Thursday night. Friday he went to see the doctor & was told it was probably just a virus. He decided to try working thru it Friday night, which turned out to be pretty rough. Personally, I wouldn't want to eat somewhere when I know the baker/chef is sick. (He's a baker - works midnights.) The idea of massive coughing attacks & fevers around my cheese bagel just doesn't sound appealing! Saturday it was out of control for him. The pain in his body & throat just became too rough, even for my tough hubby to handle. Alternating Tylenol & Motrin every 4-6 hours for the past few days just wasn't doing it. It was time for some outside assistance. We dropped Kirsten off at my Mom's and headed to the hospital. We arrived at 8:30pm and were checked in pretty fast. This was definitely a different experience for us... in the past we've only dealt with him taking me to the hospital (gall bladder & then pregnancy emergency), or us taking Kirsten back after a problem with one of her nose surgeries. This was the first time I was taking Matt in for something. Anyway, they moved us along fast, which was nice. Matt was just so looking for some relief from the extreme pain he was in. His temp was 102.8 and they said his pulse was running pretty high. By the time we left around 10:30, his temp was still about the same (102.7), but at least he had a bag and a half of IV fluids and some meds. Unfortunately, they only gave him some Tylenol & Motrin, which didn't really help the pain for him. Poor honey! He had the chills pretty bad and was bundling up as much as possible. The doctor explained that with this flu, he should try just wearing a t-shirt & boxers at home, not over-bundling which would keep the fever higher. I asked if he could return to work & she pretty much said no way. She said this lasts 7-10 days, his fever might still continue 2 or 3 more days, and the rest should start subsiding some after that (but the aches & fatigue will linger longest). She said he's still quite contagious, but we've most likely all been exposed already to it. I looked up a few sites online (here andhere) that pretty much confirmed how it's already been out there for us to catch. I think Paul might have caught some of it, but I'm hoping & praying Kirsten & I haven't. (I think we just have small colds so far.) Anyway, we found out that Kirsten threw up at my Mom's house while we were at the hospital... sorry Mom! Today we figured out that maybe it was just from too much stimulation. Too much partying that day, to be honest! I took her to my friend Maggie's baby shower with me for a little bit, and then I took her from there right to her schoolmate Brittney's birthday party. Too much excitement, perhaps? Like I said, I think Kirsten & I are just fighting off colds, and Paul's fighting a fever & body aches. I can't wait for nice enough weather that will let us open up some windows & air out this sick house!

Oh, I forgot to tell a funny part of our night in the ER... Matt was having issues with being very cold (chills). He was given a little blanket, which he doubled up and wrapped around his upper body. I ended up using my coat to help cover his legs & feet. A hospital employee came in to stock something, and he looked at Matt. This was a large, burly man with a heavy accent (Slovic, maybe?), and very friendly. He asked Matt what happened to him - was he attacked by a guy with a hook or one with a wooden leg? We were a little puzzled, then realized he was looking at Matt's skull cap... there was a skull & crossbone patch on it! He asked if Matt needed anything, and Matt asked for another blanket. The man said, "Anything for you, my Pirate Captain!" He quickly came back with 2 large, very warm blankets! .

Oh, and one other not-so-funny (slightly disturbing to me) thing that happened... the doctor asked if I was Matt's MOM!!! I thought she was joking, but I don't think she was! Maybe it's because I was doing all the talking for him (his throat was hurting too much)? Or maybe it's because with the skull cap on & the way he was bundled up, she mistook him for being in his late teens? I mean, I could feasibly have a 17 year old... but I think I'll stop right there, that thought's making me sick to my stomach! LOL (Do I really look that much older than him?!? Ugh!)

wordless wednesday - another amazing snow creation I saw

2008-03-12T07:31:00.003-05:00

her cute little nose

2008-03-11T12:02:00.004-05:00

We had a follow-up yesterday morning with Kirsten's ENT about her nose. The verdict? It's all good! It looks clear enough - it's still staying open! He said to continue the Veramyst spray in both nostrils once a day until we go back to see him in June. That'll help keep any infection/inflammation at bay, especially during allergy season (she hasn't had allergy problems yet).

This is really a bit odd. I mean, I know her nostril is open, but it's almost as if I'm waiting for the usual verdict to return of it closing back up. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that it's okay! It's just been such a long, long road to get here, and it feels odd that it's over. Does that make sense? Eleven surgeries/procedures, numerous tests, a billion doctor visits... and it's finally over. (In case you're a little lost on her history, read the past journal entries here.) Granted, her nostril opening doesn't let a ton of air through, but that's because she has a deviated septum that leans that way. *** Isn't it so cool how God worked that out?!? He had it leaning that way, so the nostril she's been using for the past 7 years has been the one with the biggest opening! Too cool! We'll just deal with that when she's older, if it becomes an issue.

Anyway, here's a pic of my little cutie being silly at the office yesterday...

*** And on the Curves front - today was my chance to go back, and I decided to nap instead. Well, I did help push a stuck vehicle out of the snow Sunday night, and one that ran out of gas yesterday... can I count that as my workout?!?

the prodigal daughter returns

2008-03-06T11:27:00.001-05:00

It really is ridiculous how many excuses we come up with for not doing something we know we should be, isn't it? I've been a member of Curves for almost 2 years now, and I'd be embarrassed to admit how many times I've actually been in there. Granted, when I first signed up, I was going more regularly. I think that's because I had a partner to work out with. She wasn't able to continue, then my excuses kicked in for why I wasn't going. Oh, I was still paying the monthly fee all along. Many times I thought of cancelling my membership, but I knew if I did, I'd never sign back up. Now, I'm not a big complainer (at least to my knowledge I'm not) of my weight. I know I'm fat. No questions there. I know I need to lose weight and get healthier. I'm definitely not in the dark about it. I know what I need to do, but actually doing it is another story. I'm just like most others - my own worst enemy. I won't complain about it out loud, but numerous times a week I'm beating myself up inside about not changing. So, for today, I'm changing. I'm tired of not feeling like I look good. I'm tired of all my "someday" thoughts. Well, what if there isn't a someday? Today is the day, and I'm making a change. I went back to Curves!!!

There I am, after my workout, red and tired and the sun's beating in my face! But I wanted to show myself that I actually could get my fanny there, so I can look back and motivate myself to do it again. I'm making a change! (Well, at least for today!) Now the challenge comes in for the rest of my day - not eating more junk, feeling justified for my morning workout!

wordless wednesday - cool celebrities: Heidi & Seal spending his 45th bday w/the family at Disneyland!

2008-03-05T15:12:00.002-05:00

writer's block

2008-02-29T22:05:00.002-05:00

Wikipedia describes writer's block as "temporary loss of ability to begin or continue writing, usually due to lack of inspiration or creativity." It continues to say it can be related to depression or anxiety. Another interpretation argues that many writers "have been unable to devote themselves to, or concentrate on, their writing because their social and economic circumstances prevent them from doing so." They offer various solutions to help with writer's block, many of which I might try sometime.

I've noticed I have problems writing. When I sit down to write, I get nothing. I get hit with all these great blogging ideas when I'm in a situation where I can't write - like when I'm in the middle of my shift at work, or in bed just as I'm about to fall asleep, or down at the bus stop waiting to pick up Kirsten. If my phone's handy, I'll send myself a little text message with a small gist of what I want to write about. As soon as I finish waiting on patients, or wake up in the morning, or get home with Kirsten, I completely forget. Then days and weeks pass, and I finally see the message in my phone, without a clue of what the rest of the story is behind the few words or broken sentences.

I think a large portion of my problem is pretty simple. It's about insecurity. I have so many friends and family around me that I see as great writers. Karen has been an amazing writer for as long as I've known her. She's recently (in the past year or two) delved into the blogging world, and it's been exciting to see all these things she's had stored up in her mind just take off in print. I firmly believe she's on her way to one day publishing her amazing thoughts. My friend Rebecca was the one that inspired and encouraged me to start my blog. When she posts about something, she backs it up with so much information that you really can learn a lot from her. This past Sunday I had the privilege of sitting in church next to my friend Shelley. This girl is a natural writer - she amazes me! I couldn't help but watch how her mind was running while our pastor was speaking. That might not make perfect sense, but bear with me as I explain! Shelley is a note taker. She had a great notebook that her husband gave her, and she was writing with a gorgeous olive colored fine point Sharpie (I'm totally into pens!). Now, when I take notes, I'm lucky if I can hear what the speaker is saying and get words down legibly. Shelley has the art down to a science, including full sentences, bullet points, outlined sections... it's amazing! I would've paid her to take notes for me in some of my college classes - that might have helped me a few points at least! Oh, and her handwriting is a style I've always been fascinated with - I wish I could write that cool! I love it! (I'll say it first, "Ruth, you're a nerd!") Anyway, it was like watching a painting in progress. It really was beautiful! (Sorry for not totally listening to you, Craig - I was mesmerized!) Then there's someone like Doug. He writes (and speaks) in languages I don't comprehend (big words! LOL), yet I feel challenged to try my hardest to understand. He reminds me some of my brother Steve, and maybe that's what intrigues me to keep reading his posts. I also have other blogging and non-blogging friends/family that are amazing writers.

The problem is that I think I let myself feel inadequate too much. I read their posts and don't leave comments (yes, I'm a lurker), fearing that I won't have anything remotely intelligent or witty enough to say. I hesitate on posting things myself because I worry about how silly I might sound, or how trivial the post might seem. I know I have issues with people face to face in conversations, where the same things go through my mind, which prevents me from sharing as much as I'd like to. (I even posted about it earlier this month.)

I think I'll try to take some of the advice Karen left on her blog today about writing. She said not to be afraid to be vulnerable. I've already seen how sometimes just getting things out paper, so to speak, has been therapeutic for me. And I've seen how touched I've been by posts from others. Who's to say mine don't effect others, too?

So, I'll keep trying. I'll write in the manner I decide, with whatever punctuation and simple words I feel like using. I might end up posting with just a photo here and there, or a silly story about something at home. I might pour out my heart some, or I might just share a recipe I found that looks good. (Of course, that would be with a hint for anyone to make it for me! LOL) I know the majority of people that even look at my blog are family and friends that I know care for me, so I need to just continue being myself and let it be!

wordless wednesday - can you tell I'm happy?!? (she's in the green coat)

2008-02-27T08:27:00.001-05:00

aaaah... it's finally over!

2008-02-26T22:41:00.002-05:00

Oh, thank you LORD! I'm so thrilled that I can send Kirsten back to school tomorrow! Last week was winter break, and she was sick. It started over that weekend with a cough that progressively got worse. You know, the kind that keeps you up all night because as soon as you lay down it decides to really attack you. Poor girl, she's such the trooper, she really is. She barely complained about her throat hurting. You just know the cough had to annoy her head, too, but she never said a word. Anyway, I took her to the doctor last Tuesday, on my day off. They ran a strep test & the initial results came back negative (the one they sent out ended up coming back negative as well). Nothing much was said except to watch her & let them know if she became worse.

Wednesday afternoon my Mom was watching her while I was working, and during this time she started getting worse. She wasn't eating/drinking much (this girl normally grazes all day long), was just laying around... my Mom even said she turned down some ice cream... CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM! (If you don't know, Kirsten would eat ice cream every day if I'd let her... and she's a chocolate fanatic!) When I picked her up, she threw up in the car. When we got home, her temp was 104.4. I really kicked in alternating the Tylenol & Motrin at that point, and did everything else to get her to eat/drink some. The next symptom to show was the runs... just so fun to clean up! LOL That finally subsided after a few days, and her coughing seemed to ease up some, too.

Saturday evening we decided she still wasn't in the best shape for church on Sunday (small fever), so we kept her home. I took her to the store with me in the afternoon, figuring the poor girl needed to get out a little, and the vomiting began... in Walmart, of course! She napped when we got home. My niece Jenny came to watch her that evening, and Kirsten got sick again. Speaking of being a trooper, Jenny really was! She cleaned up the mess so well... definitely earned some bonus babysitting bucks for that!

Monday (yesterday) was the first day back to school, of which we knew we'd have to keep her home. Matt decided since she seemed to be feeling better, he'd take her for a treat to go see a movie. I love when he does special things like that with her... reminds me of how much I've always adored my own father! Anyway, I get a call at work. Apparently, she threw up IN the theatre! Then again in the lobby, and again a few more times in the bathroom! She capped it off one more time before bed at home, but at least there was a bucket next to her!

Needless to say, I'm very frustrated at this point.

I kept her home again today, and took her to the doctor. Long story short, it's just a virus. If there's no vomiting today (which there wasn't), she can return to school tomorrow (which she IS!). Keep doing breathing treatments twice a day (we started that a few days back), and watch her temp. Most important, we need to make sure she's getting food/drink in her system. This little Peanut LOST TWO POUNDS in a week! She's too thin to begin with! She dropped from 42 (and some fraction) pounds down to 40! The doctor wants to see her back in a month to make sure she's at least gained it back. So, I'm happy, and she's thrilled. We all have been waiting to get back to some type of normalcy, and are glad it's finally here!

(Here she is reading a book at the doctor's office today!)

wordless wednesday - I flickr'd "tattoo" and found Tattoo Bill

2008-02-20T19:54:00.000-05:00

wordless wednesday - look, mommy, she's got boobs!

2008-02-14T01:04:00.001-05:00

kids say the darndest things

2008-02-11T11:29:00.000-05:00

In the car today, Kirsten was pretending like she was a "cooker" and was taking my order. After I had my meal, she offered dessert. She was telling me what she had, and she said "we have ice cream sundaes, ice cream mondays, ..." ...! I didn't want to correct her... it was just too cute!!!

I just wanted to say hello

2008-02-09T21:29:00.000-05:00

Do you ever say stupid things? Do you ever find yourself in a situation where your mouth just starts spewing words out and you wish you could just stop them, but for some reason you can't? Do you ever want to audibly tell yourself to shut up? Tonight I had that type of moment. I feel like such an idiot! I was at a housewarming party. My friend and her fiance bought a beautiful new home and had family and friends over to celebrate with them. I saw someone walk in that was familiar to me. She's a patient from where I work. I decided I wanted to go say hello to her before I left. I always like talking to her at work - she's pretty nice & has awesome colors in her hair! So, I fumble over to say hello.

Let me just interject with something here. I'm not certain as to how many of you can relate to this, but I really am not confident whatsoever with my mingling abilities. I must've been better when I was younger, because I don't remember feeling so awkward like I do now when faced with these situations. (I'll have to ask Vickie - she helps me remember things.) (Yes, old age!) I definitely feel uncomfortable when I'm in a room of strangers. I look for people I know, or I tend to just sit quietly. I'm not great at starting conversations with people I'm unfamiliar with. I often even struggle with people I know. I guess I worry about sounding like an idiot. I think tonight is my case in point.

I say hello & remind her of where she knows me. She smiles & says a few words that set my mind at ease, letting me know that she actually does remember who I am. From there, the rest felt like an out-of-body experience. It was as if I was just this vessel, and words were just pouring out of my mouth, without my knowledge of what was being said or why. The gist of it was that I guess I was trying to recall a few things she's told me about herself, and somehow bring that up in conversation. There really was no need for a conversation. Just that small hello & refresher of our connection & then a nice goodbye would have been plenty. Short & sweet. I should have left it as that. But no. I had to keep trying to say more. Nothing mean, but just dumb stuff. After my babbling spew, I left. On the way home, I realized how stupid I must've sounded, and how horribly embarrassed I suddenly felt. This girl was there with her boyfriend. AFTER my "moment" I found out that they hadn't been dating long. Why did I mention her kids? What if she didn't tell him that she had children? Did I just completely screw things up for her? Why did my mouth have to keep going? Why couldn't it have just stopped?

Chick with the cool hair, I apologize for my senseless ramblings to you this evening. That was not my intention. I just wanted to say hello.

I am socially inept. Really, I am. Ugh.

wordless wednesday - celebrating 2 of my nationalities in a yummy way

2008-02-06T08:04:00.000-05:00

clutter attack

2008-01-31T12:17:00.000-05:00

As of last night, I had accumulated over 400 messages in my email inbox. It's not that I've been ignoring them, but I just haven't taken time in well over a week now to go thru them. I look at some, read some from family & friends. I have the best intentions to respond to people, but for some reason my brain just hasn't been in the chatty mood. No particular reason, either. I'm not upset with anyone, not down in the dumps at all. I'm just... ??? Do you find this happening to you at times? I have had a semi-cold lately, and I know that's been making me feel more tired. I also realize that when I'm not feeling 100%, my eyes/head/body doesn't like being in front of the computer screen. Maybe that's some of it? My friend wrote me last night & mentioned she hadn't heard back from me in a while. I looked, and sure enough, it's been days since she wrote me and I hadn't responded yet. Why not?!? (Sorry, sweetie!) I honestly didn't realize it's been a while. I guess the days are just passing by me and I better jump back on board!

This morning I had the goal of purging my inbox down to at least 200. Half is a reasonable goal. Instead, I waste a ton of time making a new layout for my MySpace page! D'oh! (It's a "Hairspray" theme, too... very fun!) There went 2 hours I could've been doing something more productive with! Oh well. At least I managed to do a few good things around here. Now I've got just enough time to respond to a few emails, delete a few more unwanted ones, and get ready for work. There's always tomorrow, right?!?

wordless wednesday - how much for the manicure?

2008-01-31T00:07:00.000-05:00

sweet solution

2008-01-26T22:06:00.001-05:00

All day today I kept tasting that yucky stuff that the dentist put in my tooth (some type of medicated solution, under the temporary filling). Everything I ate & drank ended up tasting like it, too. That started at around 10:00 this morning & didn't let up until around 7 or so this evening (still continues a little, even). Anyway, my brother Paul was talking to me & came up with just what my mouth needed - scoops of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream in a big bowl, accompanied by banana slices & topped with chocolate syrup! I think he's got the right idea!

(There, just had to show a picture of the yummy creation! It did the trick!)

saving some for later

2008-01-25T21:26:00.000-05:00

I survived! I made it through the dental appointment, and I actually did it without the nitrous (the wonder gas)! You wonder how such a miracle occurred? Let me explain... I told the assistant right away that I wanted the gas. I met the doctor, we went over the game plan for what was to happen, and she asked if I wanted the gas before the shot (you know, the 3-foot long needle that's supposed to help you by injecting numbing solution in the area they'll be working on). I thought I'd be brave, and I told her I'll take it after. She swabbed some of the topical numbing stuff on the area. She actually swabbed quite a bit of it. Enough that when she was slowly injecting the stuff in my gums, the solution mixed with my saliva and started going down the back of my throat. Of course, with the way the table was tilted, it was all gravity. Yeah, I was flat on my back, and I'm pretty sure my head wasn't level with the rest of my body... felt like my feet were definitely higher. You can guess what happened... my throat started to numb up. So, after the shot, she hooks me up with the gas. Little piggy mask, as we called it with Kirsten. I don't normally have issues of claustrophobia, but this definitely was a closing-in scenario! My breathing was labored in the mask, and I couldn't even feel myself swallow, let alone breathe through my mouth. I immediately said I'd do it without the gas. I was so fast with that statement, she didn't even have time to back away to turn the tank on! Thankfully, I was a bit more level, even elevated slightly, when she was working on my tooth. They used that weird blue plastic spit shield (it's supposed to keep my mouth more free of the particles and such) on me. I think I kind of liked it, actually! It made my tongue feel protected from the instruments. You never know if one of those things will go rogue. Comical moment: my arms started shaking a bit from holding onto the arms of the chair so tightly! Almost like a Mom's death grip on the steering wheel when her teenage son's driving for the first time! I almost dozed off a few times, too. I think after my nerves calmed down enough (at first, they were so bad - I thought my heart was going to pound right out of my chest!), my body kind of went complete opposite on me, almost putting me to sleep. I did keep my eyes tightly shut the entire time, too. I didn't want to see a single thing they were doing! After about an hour and 1/2 of working on me, she had to stop. She was working on a molar, and she cleared out two of the canals, but one was being stubborn. Not quite sure on the details, but she said she'd need me to come back again. Then she mentioned something about if she can't get it, she'll have to refer me out. No clue what that all means, but I'll deal with it if & when the time comes.

So, with my mouth numb and my jaw sore, I left with my head held high. I made it through the whole procedure without a whiff of nitrous. Guess I could've had that sangria at lunch, Vickie! *wink*

distractions

2008-01-24T23:57:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow afternoon I have an appointment for a root canal. When I scheduled it, I said to the woman at the office that as long as I have some gas, I'll be fine. She told me to try it without the gas, that the doctor is so good that I won't even need it. Um, yeah, she obviously doesn't know me! There's no way I'd even attempt it without the gas. Actually, I'll even remind myself to take some pain meds (and I'll be sure to throw in a little Xanax while I'm at it! LOL) before I go. If I could be drunk and passed out, I'd do that! Of course, that'd be a little difficult in the getting there part if I was like that. Anyway, I'm nervous. Like I mentioned before, I'm not a fan of going to the dentist. (I know Shelley shares my fear, while Karen somehow enjoys it!) I experience extreme anxiety when I go. I feel absolutely silly, knowing I should be able to calm myself and control my emotions better. But for some reason, it's just impossible. It's like I'm possessed or something... that my body isn't mine anymore. Kind of like a bad dream. Yeah, that sums it up - a really bad dream!

Anyway, I have a few distractions for the day planned. My friend Vickie's coming to pick me up in the morning. We'll go for coffee or breakfast or something. Not quite sure what the plans are yet, but that's okay. It'll just be something keeping me from thinking about where I'll be that afternoon. That's good. And I'm a little under the weather. Just a cold, I believe, but it's enough to keep me thinking about that instead of thinking about my tooth. You know, the one that will be tortured tomorrow afternoon. Poor little fella. At least it'll be better when it's over.

So, with that, I'll be on my way to bed now. I just hope I don't have any scary dreams of dental offices - that would NOT be good!

weird smells

2008-01-18T15:42:00.000-05:00

I did a load of laundry today, using a sample of Tide Simple Pleasures in vanilla & lavender scent. When I opened the washer when the cycle was done, the scent reminded me of a hamster's cage! Weird!

Anyone else have any good or bad moments of sampling?!?

wordless wednesday - it's all in the editing

2008-01-16T22:58:00.000-05:00

what she learned in school today

2008-01-15T16:44:00.000-05:00

This is what my sweet, impressionable Peanut learned in first grade today...

(Mom, I bet you'll be leaving a comment on this one, won't ya?!?)

And yes, it wasn't from her teacher!

surgery follow-up

2008-01-14T12:52:00.000-05:00

Went to see Dr.Madgy this morning about Kirsten's nose. Voiced my concerns. He asked his questions & looked at her. I also got to see the photos of before/after the surgery - and how open he got the nostril back there. Anyway, he said it's still open, but we need to be a bit more aggressive at our management of it now. He gave us a steroid spray to use, as well as continuing the saline nasal spray. The steroid is to help with inflammation, which could be an issue. She's had occasional bloodiness from the nostril, which could be from either a slight infection or from dryness (it is winter!). So, with more aggressive treatment of the nostril, we're hoping it'll stay clear & open! My nerves are settled now - she's okay! We see him again in 2 months to check on the progress.

my bite is worse than my bark

2008-01-14T09:35:00.000-05:00

I hate my teeth. And one of my biggest gripes about dental insurance is that I really feel it should be a part of our medical coverage. Think about it - if your teeth have problems, doesn't it effect your entire body? You can get sick from a dental infection, you can be in some serious pain from it, and it can even keep you from eating properly if you have certain dental issues. The problem with dental insurance is that even if you have "good" coverage, you still have to shell out so much money out of pocket for any services. It stinks.

Part of me wishes I could just get 'em all pulled out & have dentures put in. That would seem so much easier in the long run. But I know, people say they want to save the teeth. Well, at what cost? Weeks of pain and dental torture as you work to save one tooth - not to mention the hundreds upon hundreds (if not thousands, like some people I know had to recently do) of dollars you pay out of pocket, just for that tooth to have to eventually be pulled one day. Or for the one next to it to start acting up a few months later. Seriously? Is it really worth it? My parents both had full sets of dentures by the time they turned 22 yrs. I know that's young, but that's also back in the early 50's, before they started doing all they have to do today to save teeth.

The argument I hear from many people is that "you don't want that." Well, that's not very convincing to me. I have bad teeth. I've always had bad teeth. They get cavities often, regardless of my brushing habits. I get pain in my teeth. They get sensitive. It seems it's been years since I've been without some type of issue in my mouth - at least since high school. I'm just tired of shelling out so much money to save what seems to want to crumble away anyway.

What do you think? Please chime in - I'd honestly love to hear some thoughts about teeth!

P.S. I think another thing adding to my thoughts is my severe anxiety when I go to the dentist. Maybe that's why I keep switching dentists - I'm looking for that magical one where I won't be afraid! :)

dragon zone

2008-01-10T13:20:00.000-05:00

Kirsten returned back to school on Monday, after a full 3 weeks of vacation (well, a week of it had to do with her surgery). She was happy to go back to see her friends, as expected. On that first day back, the whole class was allowed to bring something for show and tell (normally, they only do one child per day). I was trying to help Kirsten decide what she got for Christmas that she might like to bring with her. Her first thought was the bean bag she'd received from Nana & Papa, but that definitely wouldn't fit into her backpack! The next thought is what she ended up deciding on... Dragon. Yes, the same beautiful girl dragon you've seen in the Shrek movies. But the funny thing is that she's had this toy for a few years already! It's not new at all! Heart set on it, I had to let her do it! And while we were waiting at the bus stop in the car that morning, we listened to a dragon song ("Do the Dragon" by Laurie Berkner, a singer of fun kids' songs!)!

Just look at those powerful wings! Watch out for that tail!

She's so fierce! (Or is she just yelling for baby Dronkey?!?)

She'll stare you down!

Awwww, isn't she so pretty?!?

tattletale

2008-01-08T23:27:00.000-05:00

I'm officially a nark! I wrote a letter of complaint to McDonald's corporation today about my never-ending frustrating with the service I receive when I order coffee the way I like it! (See my 11.28.07 "irritations" post for details... I won't bore you again here with it all!) Anyway, I came to the conclusion that the staff at McDonald's has adapted so seriously to the way they add the cream & sugar for customers, that they forget to hand out a stirrer when customers want to add ingredients themselves. There's just no other logical explanation as to why this has happened to me so many times!

I wasn't meaning to rat them out, but rather to enlighten them all as to how to go back to pleasing the customer in the best way possible! LOL And since I know you're just itching to read what I wrote, here you go...

"I always order my coffee with cream & sugar on the side. I'd have to say about 7 out of 10 times, the employee does not give me anything to stir my coffee with. I think it's because they're used to adding the cream & sugar to the coffee so often for customers, but I'm getting really frustrated at not receiving a stirring straw, and having to wait for them to return to the window to ask - and often they seem bothered that I ask. I'd suggest a reminder goes out to all restaurants to remind them of this, please! (This happens to me at almost every location I visit.) Also, I love when they put the cream & sugar in that separate clear bag for me! Too often it's either added on top of my hot food items in the bag, or it's sometimes even handed to me - all 8 creams and 8 sugars! Yikes! Thank you!"

never look at life the same

2008-01-06T19:26:00.000-05:00

This morning we started a new series at Paradox called "30 Days to Live." There are 4 parts to the series, and today's section was "Live." Our pastor, Craig, did a great job of getting the point across on this one... I still can't stop thinking about it! What would you do if you only had 30 days left to live? How would you live your life differently?

Looking at it in that light, I think we'd all choose to live for what really matters. I know if I suddenly was about to die in the next few minutes, and knew it was about to happen, I'd have many regrets. I'd regret not truly living my life for what mattered most to me. Too often I've let insecurities & fears shape my decisions. I've held myself back from doing things I've wanted to do. I've said the "when..." thing way too many times. So many of us have. You know what I mean. Mine's been "when I have my own house, I'll be able to have people over more often" (spend more time with others). I think I've let that hold me back too often from spending time with people. I know of many opportunities that I look back on and wish I just would've made it happen. (Like with friends & family that are now moved far away.) I need to turn those when moments into now moments. I need to just call & connect, regardless of whatever insecurities are holding me back.

We saw a video clip of a guy that was dying from ALS. He shared some regrets of experiences he missed out on because of his own selfishness when he was healthy. He encouraged us not to make the same mistake. Yesterday I attended a funeral/memorial and was reminded of how I regret not visiting Mrs. Wrubel before she passed away. I was also reminded of how I regret not doing more things with my sister before she died. Those moments are gone. All I can do is not allow that to happen again with others.

The point? I need to start living as if I knew I had only 30 days left to live. Sure, this won't be an overnight change. This will take time. But I need to start. I think today I'll spend a little less time on the computer and a little more time with my daughter. She's seven, and she won't be this age for much longer. I need to enjoy these moments with her now... today.

reflections

2008-01-05T21:08:00.000-05:00

This afternoon I attended a memorial service for Mrs. Helen Wrubel. The relation between us is by marriage - she was Matt's Dad's brother's wife's mother. She passed away December 3rd, and the family decided to wait until after the holidays to do something. It was a nice service. The pastor didn't seem to personally know Mrs. Wrubel (Aunt Sally & Uncle Gary attend the church where this was held), but he said some nice things about what he's heard of her. He read a letter that Aunt Sally had written about her Mom, which was a brief summary of her life. It stated when she was born, where her parents were from, her dreams about attending nursing school, where she lived, who she married, and the family she had. It was interesting to hear that in spite of all the loss she had experienced, she never let it defeat her. She was strong. I'm sure she had her moments, but she rose above them... through them... and kept on living for the joys she loved, mainly family. She also loved the Lord, and I believe she looked to Him for her strength, too. Two of her favorite songs were played during the service. I had to close my eyes and listen... they were amazing operatic-like songs. The first was "Time to Say Goodbye" with Sarah Brightman & Andrea Bocelli and the second was "The Prayer" with Celine Dion & Andrea Bocelli. Wow, what beautiful music! I didn't know Mrs. Wrubel loved opera! I couldn't help but reflect some about my sister as I listened to those songs. My sweet sister Evelyn absolutely loved opera, and she would've really enjoyed those songs we heard today. I think she really would've enjoyed the singers, too, but I think their rise to stardom happened either around the time or after my sister died. Well, I'm sure her & Mrs. Wrubel are enjoying quite the choir in heaven together now!

The pastor gave others some time to share special thoughts or memories they had of Mrs. Wrubel. Our cousin Libby had written out a little something ahead of time, and it was just beautiful. She's married into the family, like I am, and she obviously had a great connection to Mrs. Wrubel (her Grandmother by marriage). Listening to the words that were shared, I noticed the theme through it all - she was a happy woman! She was always cracking jokes, smiling, laughing, just enjoying life. That's what I remember about her. I have one vivid memory of a Labor Day family picnic where she & I were sitting down laughing. I really enjoyed her company, and it was nice to hear that so many others felt the same. She will be missed, and she will be remembered.

Some other reflections I had today was in the building itself. The church was the one where Matt grew up. His parents started going there before he was born. I started going there when I was in the 10th grade. I couldn't resist walking around a little, exploring areas that I used to know so well. A lot of history was in that building - almost 26 years of Matt's life and about 15 of mine. That's where we met. We were married there. That's where I met a few other friends that I still hold dear (even though I might not see them often). Matt & I had some great experiences there that helped us grow into the people we are today (i.e. working in the youth group). And we left there together before we had Kirsten. I think I'm a little surprised that I'm not necessarily sad at how much has changed there. It was just good to reflect.

On the way home I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things. Playing overhead was "Help me, Rhonda" by the Beach Boys. Another song today to remind me of my sister. I like that.

It was a good day today. I was able to see some family and catch up a little (there are some truly wonderful people in the Gross family!), I was able to look at that church in a nice reflective light, I was able to close my eyes and feel as if I was listening to that music with Evie, and I was able to remember the love & laughter of Mrs. Helen Wrubel. It was a good day today!

say it isn't so

2008-01-04T21:48:00.000-05:00

I'm getting a little better at this worrying thing. I'm learning to pray more about whatever is bothering me. I'm also learning to do something that comes completely unnatural to me - not let my mind complete the negative thoughts out. That's a biggie. But I'm learning, little by little.

My concern at this very moment is Kirsten's nose. As you know, she had surgery on her right nostril the week before Christmas (see post here for the 12/19 details). This was a choanal atresia ("CA" for short) repair, which essentially was drilling thru the bone that was preventing her from using that nostril. In surgeries past, the doctor inserted a stent (tube) to help hold the area open during healing. Within a few weeks of the stent's removal, it would grow closed. Even when she had the extensive surgery thru her palate, which was the "last resort" of this type of surgery, her nostril still closed up in the end. She's got some super-healing powers, I tell you! (And the bone growing so quickly is what surprises me most still!)

Where we are tonight is that her nostril is getting plugged. You know how it sounds when you have a cold and you sniff and you just can't get much air in? That's what's happening. I had her cover her left nostril & sniff in the right side. It collapsed in, and I could just barely hear a little air pass thru. I've been using some saline nasal spray on it several times a day, and it doesn't seem to be helping. I was hoping this would just be an issue related to the weather we've got (it's winter in Michigan - need I say more?), but then why isn't it happening in the other side instead? I could very well be worrying about nothing. I hope that's the case. I'm praying that's the case! I remember earlier today at my sister's house, Kirsten's nostril was gooping like it used to. I'm just beginning to get a bad feeling about this.

So I'll continue to pray about her nose. And I'll continue to keep my mind on the here & now, not on the "what if?"s of this.

happy feet

2007-12-28T18:00:00.000-05:00

Do you remember my post back in October about how I miss my Docs? Those wonderful shoes that stood the test of time? Well, look at this...

I'M SO EXCITED!!!
My amazing sister Valorie had read that previous post, and decided to do something amazing for me for my birthday this month. She secretly got in touch with several friends of mine, and they all pitched in on getting the boots for me! Yes! They're now mine! Seriously! These are my happy feet, snuggled into that burgundy bliss this afternoon...

Aren't they so beautiful?!? There were about 15 of my friends who generously jumped on board with the secret birthday surprise! Even though this happened weeks ago (the boots came in today), I'm still blown away by the love my friends have shown me. I know some people might just look at this as a pair of boots, but to me it's as if they paid for me to go on a cruise or something huge like that - it's just as important to me! Really, these are definitely a luxury to me, something I've always wanted, but just never took the time to save for myself. Val & my friends took the idea and ran with it, and made my heart so happy! But what makes my heart smile the most is the fact that they all care about me so much to do something so wonderful for me.

You all know who you are - thank you. Thank you for showing me how amazing a friendship can be, even without the gifts. Thank you for accepting me for who I am, and celebrating who God created me to be. Thank you to my old friends and my new ones. Thank you to those who I have the privilege of being related to by blood, and to those who I've been "adopted" into a family with. Thank you for memories past, present, and those yet to come. Ups and downs - that's what shapes us. Change is good, and I know many of us have seen a lot of that in our lives. I like seeing that through it all, the bond of my girlfriends will always remain. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU!

P.S. Not only did the funds collected pay for the boots, but it also allowed me a few other things like a new coat, scarf & gloves, jeans, & a hoodie! I was spoiled!!!

it's a good day

2007-12-19T11:09:00.000-05:00

It's Wednesday afternoon, and Kirsten's bouncing around the house as if yesterday didn't even happen. Talk about the resilience of children! She snapped out of the post-surgery anesthetic state late this morning, and seems back to normal. The vomiting has stopped and her appetite is slowly returning. Her discomfort seems minimal, if anything, and she's busy running around with a princess dress on & playing doctor as I write. I think as she examines the unsuspecting patients in her room, I have a few minutes to post some pictures and details of yesterday's event!

As I mentioned previously, Kirsten didn't get to sleep until really late Monday evening (I'm talking almost midnight!). I woke her up at around 5:45am yesterday, and her mood was fine. Not crabby, not nervous, just normal. Karen came over, and we took off for the hospital. I decided to do the valet parking there for the first time, and it turned out to be much easier for us. We checked in at admitting and had to wait a while there. The staff had toys that patients could pick from, and Kirsten found a green Care Bear to add to her collection of "buddies." She slowly started to mingle with some of the kids there, even asking one fourth-grader to read her a book (of which he so kindly did). When it was our turn, they led us upstairs to the surgical waiting room. All I can say is "WOW!" They completely renovated the waiting area up there & it looks amazing! They went with a train station-type theme, with some brick wall accents & beautiful murials painted on the walls. There was a new play room set up, complete with all sorts of books and toys imaginable. It was wonderful!

From there we were led to where they set her up for surgery. She was weighed & measured, and she was very cooperative as they took her blood pressure & such. (She used to be very nervous and resistant with those things. Now she just asks what they're doing, and goes along with it fine.) They had her change into the hospital attire before the rest of the nurses and doctors made their way in to speak with us.

I had to make sure I waited for the questions - I could tell I was sort of in this auto-pilot mode where I was about to answer before I was asked (I think I've been thru this too many times! LOL)! Dr. Madgy came in to go over the game plan & to visit with Kirsten for a moment. She handed him a picture that she so carefully colored for him last night, and he joked around with her a little. He has such a great bedside manner with his patients - Kirsten mentioned that she loves him! I guess she really feels at ease around him (she's been seeing him since she was around 5 months old!)... I'm happy to see that. I donned my funny little coat & hat & Karen waited patiently while I accompanied Kirsten to the operating room. It was nice that she was allowed to walk down (without being on a stretcher). Up to this point she was doing fine... until the O.R. door was opened and she saw about a dozen people waiting in there for her! She stopped fast in her tracks and had the look of a deer caught in the headlights! We went in and I explained how everyone had different jobs to do, trying my best to calm her down (all she needed was to know what was happening). Dr. Madgy introduced her to the staff ("This is Kirsten, not Kirsten!" - using the correct/incorrect pronounciation of her name) and proudly showed off the artwork she gave him. I think she liked that. More hesitation came with having to put her on the bed, but this is expected. She picked the watermelon flavor for them to put on the gas mask thing, but she wasn't interested in that getting anywhere near her face. A few nurses helped as we gave her positive assurances and I kissed her before I left the room, with her drifting off.
Karen & I went to the waiting room. We admired some more artwork we found in there - there was a tree decorated by a Detroit area high school, and the art was amazing!

Even the tree skirt was painted like part of the top of the Sistine Chapel.
We had our late breakfast and some much needed coffee, then had a great opportunity to just relax and catch up on each other's life. That was definitely great.
After what seemed to be a longer time than I had anticipated, the doctor came out to tell us how things went. He said her nostril is opened larger than it's ever been, and he was leaving her in the O.R. for a while with a lot of packing in there. He wanted it to be as dry as possible before applying the Mitomycin (a chemo drug, used here to help prevent scar tissue build-up). After that, she went to recovery, where we eventually were sent to join her. (Oh, he also cleaned out her ears from any wax build-up. He said her tubes were still there, but ended up coming out. Those have been in since 9/11/01!)

Karen & I were quite warm in there, but we knew it was because the kids coming from surgery would be on the cold side. Karen said how she loved the feeling of the heated blankets, and I caved in and asked for a cup of ice chips to help cool me off! (I love the texture of them!) Kirsten slept a lot, and eventually managed to eat 1/2 of a Popsicle, sleeping in between bites, of course!

One time when she woke, she complained of her ear hurting. The nurse gave her another dose of morphine & our stay was prolonged a little. Doogie Houser's younger brother came in to take out her IV (seriously, we debated about how young he must've been... 12 was a thought!), and when he was done, we noticed Kirsten had some blotchy spots on her face. They dissipated quick enough, though. She vomited, and we saw the spots again, this time in a larger area of her face. Karen saw my concern & got the attention of a nurse for me. She ended up sending in the anesthesiologist, and he told us not to worry, unless it stays. It's just something that hasn't happened before. It happened once again before leaving, but it quickly went away.

Oh, one more thing happened out of the norm for us. Kirsten has a little mark on her cheek. I thought maybe she scratched herself unknowingly, but the nurse had to bring it to the anesth.'s attention. He came & looked at it, and said it might've accidentally been from a certain clamp they use when draping a towel over the patient's face. Dr. Madgy came in, confirmed the suspicion of where it came from, but then stated they didn't use a towel like that - so they have no idea what happened! It's not bleeding or anything, so I'm sure it'll heal quickly enough on it's own. Just weird as to how it happened!

I decided to have them take her down in a wheelchair - much easier!

(Did you see Karen behind her there?!? LOL)
We were home by 2:30, and she fell soundly asleep on the couch.

I went to pick up the meds she needs (antibiotics, nasal spray, Motrin, and Tylenol), and we let her sleep as much as she needed. She ended up taking in a little bit of jello & some of a popsicle, but she also threw up some more. I don't think her vomiting has been as much this time around, and I'm thinking it's because we decided not to give her Tylenol w/codeine this time.

As I said, she seems to be pretty close back to normal now. She's eating more, not throwing up, and hasn't gone back to sleep yet. I'm making sure to give her pain meds regularly for today, just in case. I really think God has blessed her with a highter tollerance for pain, but I want to make sure she's comfortable. I think we'll take a little nap together soon... we can both use it!

Dr. Madgy wants us to follow up with him in a few weeks, so we're just praying that this is IT! I think I'll be nervously watching to see if this closes up or not. Hopefully the excitement of Christmas will kick in soon & take my mind off this. No sense in freaking out about something we can't control! If you haven't checked out her blog, Karen put a little post yesterday with some pictures about our little adventure, from her point of view!

Thanks to everyone for your continued support & prayer for our family - and specifically for Kirsten. We know we have the love & support of so many, and I believe that truly helps keep our hearts at ease a little when we go thru these life events. Many thanks to my pal Karen for being there with us yesterday - from before the sun rose until later in the afternoon, from un-caffeinated brains to a really late lunch, from a blocked nostril to an opened one... and everything else along the way during the day. Your love & support means the world to me - just being there for us was great. Thank you!

safe and sound

2007-12-18T15:17:00.000-05:00

I've gotta be a little short with the details here since I've gotta get back out & pick up some Popsicles and her prescriptions! Quick version - 6:45am arrive at hospital, 8:15 I leave the O.R., 10:15 the doctor comes to tell us how well everything went, 11:30 we go back to the recovery area, 2:00pm we head home. Kirsten's on the couch resting & just asked me if she could have some candy! I guess she's feeling a little better! I'll post more tonight or tomorrow... details and some pictures! xoxo

so far it's a go

2007-12-17T23:20:00.000-05:00

The current time as I begin this is 11:04pm. Why do I mention this? Because I just thought you'd like to laugh with me at the fact that Kirsten is in her room and STILL AWAKE! Um, we're going to be leaving the house in 7 hours! Oh well, she'll catch up on her rest in the afternoon, I suppose!

So yes, the surgery is on, and we have to check into admitting downtown at Children's Hospital at 6:45am. Matt's work schedule got messed up some (people called in sick, so he ended up having to work later than originally expected), so he won't be able to go with us. I know he feels bad, especially after Kirsten asked him tonight about being there. Poor Daddy Matt! Well, we know his heart is with us all the way. My dear friend Karen will be accompanying me on the adventure. I can't believe she volunteered to wake up before the crack of dawn to meet at my place at 6am! Blech! Talk about friendship! :)

Anyway... can you tell my mind's just all over the place? Oh yes, there goes her door, and here she comes...??? She needs to go to the bathroom. I'm sorry, when it's 3 hours past my bedtime, I'm usually sleepwalking with my eyes barely cracked open if I have to venture to the bathroom. Actually, I'm like Matt - I lay in bed, wondering if I have to go badly enough or if I can make myself fall back asleep instead. I usually just go - I've had too many bad dreams of wetting the bed! Here she comes, skipping back towards her room, stopping to tell me that at 7 years old you can be a princess if you want to. And there she goes, after one more pleading from me for her to just go to sleep. 11:12. And now she's singing. This is going to be a long night.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, Karen coming with me. Okay, she made arrangements for her 3 kids, and she'll be my partner in this tomorrow. She graciously agreed to meet at my place so we could ride together. My request for this (instead of just meeting downtown) is because Kirsten sometimes has problems after surgery and throws up in the car on the way home. Not fun to be alone during this! (I need to add some type of container to my list of what to bring tomorrow!) I'm thinking this will actually be quite uneventful, as far as surgeries go. There won't be a tube in her nose, so no stitches will be involved. That cuts back on her pain/discomfort. They kept their promise to get us in first thing in the morning, so I'm imagining she'll be done with the surgery by around 10:00 at the latest. We might even be home in time for lunch. For a nap. That's what I'll be longing for. A nice, quiet nap. We'll have to see what alternative they'll have for her to replace the Tylenol with Codeine that she's had in the past. We've been wondering if that's what added to her problems during those first 24 hours post surgery.

Okay, I'd better go post something on our website now. I'll be sure to update both of these tomorrow after we get home, and I'm anticipating it'll all be good news. Of course, the final results will show within the weeks following - whether her nostril will stay open or not. That's what we're praying for!!!

11:20pm... I don't hear anything. Maybe she finally conked out? What a sweetie - maybe this was a little anxiety, even though she says she's fine about this. Awwww!

11:27pm... just heard her change her CD... GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!!!

dashing thru the snow

2007-12-16T14:55:00.000-05:00

Many Michiganders are not thrilled when winter comes blowing at us strong and hard. Many have lived here their entire lives, and still just aren't ready for the snow, or they plain 'ol don't enjoy it. I'm definitely not in that crowd - I'm so excited about it! Our area started getting the storm yesterday later in the morning, and it seemed to continue throughout the day, increasing with intensity by the hour. We went to a Christmas party last night, and on the way home I got to experience some of the fun of driving around in it. This morning was a completely different story...

"A weekend winter storm sweeping across the Midwest dumped up to 10 inches of snow on parts of the Lower Peninsula by Sunday afternoon..."
"The National Weather Service said the storm could dump up to 14 inches of snow through Sunday night in places."

"Blizzard conditions are anticipated," the weather service said in an advisory warning of the storm conditions. "Whiteout conditions can be expected at times, with significant blowing and drifting snow."

And here's our local forecast for today...
"Today: Snowy and blustery. Areas of blowing snow reducing visibility. Accumulations 4 to 6 inches. Storm total snow accumulation 8 to 12 inches. Highs 27 to 31. North winds 15 to 25 mph, becoming northwest 25 to 35 mph during the afternoon. Chance of snow near 100 percent."

(I took those photos on my way home from church this morning, with the top one being how thick most of our cars were covered!)
I'm sure Matt didn't enjoy shoveling out the driveway,

but I sure had fun driving around in the mess! It was a blast!!!

P.S. Yes, I went out again in it this evening, and still quite enjoyed my time driving around! I trust my car, and I know how well I can handle things, but I was having a few issues with some others on the road. You know, the type that decides to suddenly merge in front of you when there's obviously no lane tracks in the snow. Thankfully, I'm smart enough to be aware of my surroundings. Now, if only everyone else on the road would do the same!

decisions

2007-12-11T23:58:00.000-05:00

So, how does one really know if they're making the right decision on something or not? My current situation is wondering if we're going to go ahead with Kirsten's nose surgery next week or not. It's set for Tuesday, the 18th. We set this up a little while back, after having two scheduled surgeries postponed on us - due to the hospital canceling on us. (Check out the previous post here for details.) Actually, after that post was made, the hospital rescheduled with us a week or two later. The same thing happened again, but at least that time we got the call the day prior, I believe. Still, it stunk.

I'm just worried about little things like how Matt doesn't have any time off work and I'll have to find someone else to go with me. I like when he's there. I know he wants to be there, but it just doesn't always work out. We don't know his schedule yet (his work weeks start on Tuesday nights), but he might have to work Tuesday into Wednesday, too. He just won't be available like we both wish he could be. This is also her last week of school before break. It's really not a big deal, but it's something.

You know, as I write this all out, I think I'm just worrying for nothing. Maybe I'm just anticipating the hospital calling to cancel again. Maybe I'm looking for a reason to cancel it on our end before they cancel it on theirs. She could go thru this successfully for the first time ever, you know? She could actually begin 2008 with two working nostrils! This could work! I just wish God could audibly tell me what the right decision to make in this would be. Seriously, why can't He?!? LOL I know, He does provide us with a good head on our shoulders. We research all the things with Kirsten. We ask questions. We talk to others about it. We pray about it. And we are open to whatever signs come our way in regards to it. Now we just have to trust the decision we make and go forward without looking back. I know, easier said than done!

Here's a little picture of my Peanut two years ago (7/05) at her 5th birthday party... with the tube from her recent surgery sticking out of her nose... what a trooper...

irritations

2007-11-28T22:44:00.000-05:00

After all the talk yesterday about coffee, I decided to take a few extra minutes this morning to stop at McDonald's on my way to work. I don't think I'll ever understand how this can happen to me - and it happens often enough. I ordered a coffee with cream & sugar on the side. (Note: my reasoning for not having them put it in is because I always vary a little on how much I want in my cup, mostly depending on how strong the coffee seems to taste.) I look in the bag of goods before driving off & realize they didn't give me a stirrer. At this point I have to wait for them to return to the window so I can ask for something to stir my coffee with, only to be given a bewildered look. Seriously, can you think of any possible scenario in which the cream & sugar can be successfully blended with the coffee and without causing serious burning to various parts of the body? Come on, people! A straw! A stirrer stick! Something besides my finger is needed for this! Oh, that reminds me, I needed to share a little bit of good news about McD's and their stirrer sticks. It used to really bother me that the sticks were smaller than the cups. Yeah, burnt finger tips were a certainty. I'd have to ask for a drinking straw, and would always get that dumbfounded look from the employee as to why I'd need that for my coffee. (Obviously there just aren't enough coffee drinkers in the crews of McDonald's.) Anyway, a few months ago I was given a lovely surprise... they changed the size of the stirrer sticks! Now they actually work!
(Yes, I do have a photo to show you!)

See the before and after? What a difference!

This all leads me to share a few of my "pet peeves" - things that annoy me. Feel free to share some of yours in the comment section, too!

1. Stirrer straws that are too short.
2. Buying coffee (with cream/sugar on the side) and not being given something to stir it with (this also happens to me in restaurants - I'm often seen stirring my coffee with a knife).
3. Toe cleavage. It's where the little lines between your toes shows outside the shoe. Eeeew! It's just wrong!

(Yes, two photos, just to show the horror of it!)

4. People that drive in the turn lane. You're supposed to have your signal on, and wait for a clear moment to merge. It's not an open driving lane, people!
5. People that park in front of storefront doors. I'm talking about the ones that figure they'll "just run in for a second" and end up taking 5 minutes or more. In the meanwhile, Granny outside can't get to the railings on the walkway because Dopey blocked it with his car. Poor Granny has to take the long way around, slips on a small patch of ice and breaks her hip. Dopey doesn't even notice his car being taken away from the tow truck that the ambulance driver called, because he's too busy talking on his bluetooth loud enough for everyone to hear his conversation about something nobody gives a rip about! And we can't forget to mention he continues to talk on his phone while approaching the register to make his purchase, never even bothering to say a little "hello" or "thank you" to the employee that's glaring voodoo-death wishes at him from behind the counter! (*catches breath*)

Huh! I think that last one covered about 3 or 4 pet peeves in one! LOL So, what irks you?!?

my roots aren't showing

2007-11-27T22:39:00.001-05:00

I wasn't referring to the ones on my head - those are definitely in need of a refresher. I'm talking about my heritage here. My brother and I were talking a week or so ago about how it seems like I'm not drinking as much coffee as I used to. For those that know me, this is a big deal. I'm a huge coffee lover. I'm even debating about getting some type of coffee cup graphic as a tattoo one day (along with the others I think about, but probably will never get around to doing!). It's in my blood. My Mom jokes that it's a Finn thing (she's 100% Finnish) - it's just huge with her side of the family, and I look at it as much as a family traditional thing as I do a daily sanity saver. But since we moved here a few months back, I just can't get it to taste good when I make it at home. Sure, if I had the money and a little Coffee Beanery delivery person to bring it to my door each morning, I'd be all set!

But since that's not the reality of life, I have to continue trying to find that perfect balance of beans and water.

Oh, Matt's wonderful parents gave me this lovely item last Christmas...

...it took a while for me to adjust to her ways of brewing for me, but soon we were in harmony. I miss using her!!! Maybe I'll have to dig her out of her hiding place if I can't get this other one to cooperate!?!

drama for the holidays

2007-11-26T00:41:00.000-05:00

Seriously, what would a holiday be without a little drama?!? I can thankfully say we made it thru our Thanksgiving festivities without incident. We enjoyed our dinner at my cousin Becky's place with her hubby & 2 kids & her Nana. It was very nice - the kids played well, the food was delicious, and the company was wonderful, as always! The drama began on the way home... with Kirsten! She was complaining of her tummy hurting, and I thought she just had to poop. When we got home (it was about a 30 minute car ride), we started her bedtime routine. I proceeded to administer her nightly dose of medicine (we put the inside powder of the capsule in some applesauce - she doesn't have the whole pill swallowing art down yet), and she gagged a little on the first spoonful. I made a comment about how I know it's yucky, then I noticed this look in her eyes. You know the one - it's that 2 second warning that something horrible is about to protrude from the depths of their bowels, and there's just not enough seconds left to do anything about it. Yup. Projectile fountain all over me. And I was directly in front of her, and quite close. That was just nasty. Poor girl, she was all upset. I calmed her down, changed her, and we went about the rest of the business, sans meds.

She was fine after that. Nothing else was wrong. Friday we peacefully slept in (aaaah! I was thrilled to experience that!), and then decided to run a few errands around noon. First stop was at my work to get her glasses adjusted. From there we were heading to my in-laws. About 2 miles from their home, it happened again. At this moment, I realized it was a good thing that I'm not the cleanest car keeper in the world. There was plenty of stuff to protect the carpet from the puking she did - twice. Blech! I was able to clean it easily enough at my in-laws, and Kirsten's been fine since then. (I'm wondering if she's developed some reflux again - or if it never fully went away. A gastro appointment in a week will hopefully clear up my questions.)

Dramatic moment number 3 happened this morning. I decided to be kind and let Matt just sleep today, and since I was on the tech schedule for the service at church, I had to leave home by 7:30am - and I took Kirsten with me. Usually she's not too bad while we're working there, but this time she broke a rule. She's not allowed to go outside unless she comes to ask me or Matt first. (I love that she has transition lenses in her glasses - it gives her away when she does sneak out!) Anyway, here I am in the booth, racing to type in some new lyrics to a song we've never done before, and along comes sweet Anthony with Kirsten in his arms, and she's crying. Apparently, she went outside & fell on the cement. Tights were ripped. Blood was definitely an issue on the knee and hand. I will admit, I feel a little guilty that my first thought was one of those "see what happens when you break the rules???" comments. I calmed her down some & we did what we could to fix the situation. In the end, I completed my job in the booth, and she ended up being able to run around again - sans tights - inside!

I guess if that's all the drama we experienced during the Thanksgiving weekend, then I'm quite thankful!

bows you just HAVE to see

2007-11-21T23:17:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry, I totally forgot to share this information before, and this time of year is the perfect opportunity for a product like this! A friend of mine introduced me to this company earlier this year, and I decided to try a few bows for my Kirsten. Now, I'm not a huge fan of frilly things, but I have to admit that they really are adorable. Of course, I didn't order the huge kind that would take up half her head. Instead I went with a few that I figured would suit my daughter well. And they do!

(pardon the fuzzy photo)

The company is Five Blessed Bows and it really is something to see (if you've got little girlies that can benefit, that is). I like that the company is founded by two stay-at-home Moms. I like that they have a variety of sizes and colors to go with whatever we want them to match. I like that they even have a type of clip that will STAY in my daughter's uber-fine hair! (Seriously, it works!)

If you do order, let them know that you were referred to them (just click on "referred" at the top of their page). You just send them an email with the name and email address of whoever referred you (that would be me - Ruth - finngirl004@aol.com, please! *wink, wink*). With referrals I can earn a free bow! I need a new one, now that Kirsten's hair is much shorter! (And since she's lost two of her other ones!)

And if you do order, let me see a picture of what it looks like on your little sweetie! These are just so cute!!!

(Great, now that I browsed around their site, I think I need to place an order for the holidays! LOL)

interesting driving laws

2007-11-21T21:58:00.001-05:00

I ran across this list the other day, and some of the laws listed were quite funny! Let's see how many of these would actually be a concern to you if it were a law in your state...

* In Mount Vernon, Iowa, you can't shoot arrows into the street without written permission from the town council.

* No parking in front of Dunkin Donuts in South Berwick, Maine, or you'll be ticketed.

* Officials in University City, Missouri, have made it illegal to honk the horn of someone else's car.

* In Scituate, Rhode Island, it's illegal to drive with beer in your vehicle - even if it's unopened. (So, how does one get it from the store to their home?)

* Arkansas authorities have deemed it illegal to blare a car horn where ice cold beverages or sandwiches are served after 9 p.m.

* It's against the law in Hermosa Beach, California, to spill your margarita on any street. (Hmmm... I wonder what drunk politician made that a law?!?)

* If you screech your tires while driving in Derby, Kansas, you can land up to 30 days in jail.

* In Alabama, it's illegal to drive while blindfolded.

* You can't plant a tree in the middle of the street in Blairstown, New Jersey, or you'll get in trouble.

* Rockville, Maryland, nails you with a misdemeanor if you're caught swearing from your vehicle.

status quo

2007-11-13T23:18:00.000-05:00

The status quo. The existing state or condition. Also called "status in quo." *looks at the title* Hmmm... I think I like it in all lower case like that. No caps. Maybe I'll starting doing all my blog post titles that way. I like the look of it. *pauses and hums to self* Sorry, I digress. Anyhoo, let me preface this one with saying that I'm not here to air my dirty laundry, or rather my dirty list of ailments. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything. This is to update some people that have asked me about the situation, but also (and more-so) for my own sake. If I don't write this down now, I'll completely forget by morning what happened! Yes, even with an adequate amount of coffee!

Today I followed up with my PCP about the blood work I had done on the 2nd. Everything looked pretty good, with the exception of the glucose. It came back as borderline insulin resistant, of which a nurse told me a week ago & let me worry over it till today. My doctor told me it wasn't horrible, but it does raise a flag. It falls pretty close to the "pre-diabetes" range. After discussing more of how I've been feeling & what I've been doing, we decided to change my meds a little. I'd been taking some metformin for a little while, and we're wondering if that's been making me feel so horrible. It's typically a medicine for diabetes to help control blood sugar levels, but we're using it to help treat my PCOS. It may be that I'm on too high of a dose, so I'll be cutting back on it now. He said I might have to play around a little with it to see how it makes me feel. He told me to watch my symptoms and how to help myself when I'm feeling yucky again (it sounded to him like I might be hypoglycemic - with my levels bottoming out from time to time). The bummer is that I'm going to have to be more diligent of what I'm taking & eating... and keeping track is not an easy task for me! I bought a cool new pill dispenser (days of the week kind) & hopefully that'll help me remember to take what I need.

My weight is definitely an issue, only because of all this other garbage that's combining with that negatively against me. We talked a little about it, but not too much. He knows I'm aware and I know what needs to be done. But the other big thing is this decision Matt & I have to make. We just don't feel ready to have this set in stone yet. If you didn't read the post from the gyno visit, basically we have to figure out if we're going to try getting pregnant again or not. And I have to let my doctor know in two months. Matt & I have talked briefly about it a few times, but it seems he's as reluctant to make a decision as I am. I talked a little with my sister Valorie about it, and she said maybe this is what we need. Meaning, we've been dragging our feet about whether we'll do this again or not (we have to do the infertility route), and now this is finally making us come to a decision. I'm not getting any younger, and now my body is basically getting to the point of forcing me to make my choice. With either decision, I'll pretty much have to start some type of treatment relatively fast. Some thoughts...

~ Forty isn't too far off anymore.
~ I'm feeling old lately.
~ Kirsten mentions something to me at least once a month about having a sibling (it's hard when she brings out her baby doll & tells me it's her baby brother - she even uses the name we'd use - I should never have told her).
~ I don't feel like I'm old enough to be done with having kids, especially when practically one in five gals at church are having babies. Am I really that much older than they are?
~ There's a chance Matt might get a promotion in a few months, which would be so good for us.
~ Kirsten would be so amazing & being a big sister could really help her with some of her issues (ADHD/autism).
~ If this was God's plan, wouldn't it have happened by now?
~ Kirsten is enough work sometimes - as if she was 2 or 3 kids in one! LOL
~ Part of me feels my heart would always ache for more, yet part of me feels so fulfilled with our sweet girl - and I know we've been so fortunate to be able to have her, especially looking at all of our struggles to get pregnant with her (and since).

When I was talking with Val on Friday, a thought came to mind that I'd forgotten about. Back when Matt & I were trying to conceive with Kirsten, we had talked quite a bit about the possibility of adoption. We realized there might be a point where we would have to call it quits on pregnancy, and that there is such a need for parents to love a child that doesn't have a family. Matt's brother Aaron & his wife Jenn were able to make that a reality for their family a few years ago when God brought Otto into their lives. So, if we decide no more pregnancy attempts, there's always adoption to think about. And like Val reminded me - our lives are FULL of children that we can love & pour ourselves into! Heck, we've got 18 nieces & nephews (or is it 19?!?), along with some great nephews & nieces! That's not including kids of our cousins & friends...!

I don't know when we'll make the "final" decision, but please keep us in your thoughts & prayers as we weigh out our options. And hopefully I'll at least be a little lighter & more regulated with my meds by the time I see the doctor in January!

I must be getting old

2007-11-08T21:19:00.000-05:00

The other day I stopped at Burger King to get a simple cheeseburger. I even ordered it plain. The total came to $1.26! A dollar and twenty-six cents! For one burger! I thought regular 'ol burgers were still under a buck! What happened? I was tempted to make a run for White Castle instead, but I knew that would be a mistake I'd be paying for continuously for days after (even though it'd taste great going down!). A dollar twenty-six, for one plain cheeseburger. A flat one, no less! I must be getting old!

The norm

2007-11-06T21:34:00.000-05:00

I posted on the 18th about a little washing miracle I had encountered - an entire kleenex making it thru the cycles without being shredded. Well, today it was back to normal. I missed one, and the little itty bitty pieces were all over the place! You think I'd be an expert by now at locating them before they went in the washer. I mean, with all of Kirsten's nose issues, it's been a regular issue. Yet I still manage to miss one from time to time, and the results speak for themselves. Thank God for those once-in-a-blue-moon miracles!

(Just look at that messed up lint from the dryer!)

7 random things about me

2007-11-03T23:34:00.000-05:00

Great, I've been tagged! My pal Karen decided to pass on this challenging task to me. I thought it would be easy enough, but it's surprisingly tough to think of something not everyone knows already! Here's the deal - you have to state 7 random things about yourself. I don't have many readers of my blog here, so it's hard for me to think of something you might not be aware of about me! Well, here goes...

1. I've been regularly watching a soap opera, Days of Our Lives, EVERY DAY, for around 15 years! Even on holidays or times away from home, I still record it & watch it later... in spite of the fact I keep saying I'm going to quit (especially when another dumb storyline happens)!

2. I like to freeze my Ding Dongs (of which I call King Dons). "In fact, when they were first introduced, they were actually called King Dons in some parts of the country (and Big Wheels in some regions)." They're just so yummy like that! (My Mom does the same thing!)

3. I enjoy getting blood drawn. I like watching the needle as it punctures my skin, and I especially enjoy the experience if it's completely pain-free! You know, the times when you can watch the needle go in and not even feel it? That blows me away! Perhaps it's got something to do with my fascination with vampires?!? LOL Okay, I just re-read that, and it sounds a bit weird! Maybe it's because I've been through enough physically painful procedures in my life. And maybe it's for the fact that I'm almost literally scared to death of being in the dentist's office. I like that there's one necessary medical procedure that doesn't bother me at all!

By the way, I've done a few pheresis donations years ago, and I used to try "racing" to see how quickly I could donate my blood (pumping my hand when the nurses weren't looking)! I know, what a goof!

4. There are 3 times in my life so far that I've almost died: 1) when I was an infant I almost died from SIDS - my Mom heard me, saw I was purple, and my parents rushed me to the hospital. 2) when I was 16 I had such a serious case of mono that kept me in the hospital for 7 days & 13 hours (funny how I remember that number) and there was a point where my throat was swelling & closing up that my Mom thought I might die (of course, she didn't tell me that until many years later). 3) the circumstances surrounding Kirsten's birth put me in jeopardy for my life (my pre-eclampsia was turning into HELLP syndrome & my organs were in the early stages of shutting down). I guess God's wanting me to stay around for something, huh?

Oh, and there was another one that was pretty serious, but it wasn't a "near death experience" as close as the others. I was in a bus accident when I was a teen, and most of us on board walked away with barely a scratch. Of course, the situation really should've been much worse. The paramedics and other locals told us they were expecting fatalities for certain, and were amazed that there were barely any injuries. Definitely a time of angels at work. That could be another blog in itself someday!

5. I was so unfocused my first semester of college that I ended it with a GPA of only .89! The first year I ended with 1.89. I was living in the dorms & just having fun, as you can see! Good use of the financial aid there, Ruth!

6. I have a serious addiction to Hallmark Christmas ornaments. I could literally decorate an entire tree with ornaments made by Hallmark alone! Thankfully, earlier this year my sister-in-law Jenn helped me deal a bit with this obsession. She was helping me "cleanse & purge" out a lot of unnecessary things, and with her help I was able to eliminate one storage tub of ornaments. (Not all were Hallmark ones, but many of them were.) I mean, am I ever really going to decorate an entire tree with them? I have so many other meaningful ornaments that I like putting up, too. I'm learning to keep the specific collections going that we have (regular & mini Snoopy and a Star Wars series), but not to start new ones. I also get one a year for Kirsten, but no more than that. She'll have a nice collection when she's old enough to move out (sounds weird putting that in words! LOL), but not an over-abundance from years of her Mommy's addiction!

7. What in the world is another random thing about myself I can share that isn't well known already?!? Um, my favorite Christmas movie is "White Christmas"... is that good enough? That started from a childhood tradition. On Christmas Eve my brother Steve & I would stay up & watch it every year. Our whole family enjoyed it - my Mom's cousin was even one of the dancers in the movie (cousin Betty)! And I still make a point to watch it at least once every holiday season... if not with another family member (like Steve or Val or my cousin Becky), then by myself. Matt's even endured the torture (he HATES musicals), but it's hard to enjoy something with someone who really wishes they were elsewhere! LOL

There, I made it! Now I get to pass the curse along and tag 7 other people! Let's see if Matt, Rebecca, Andi, Doug, Shelley, and Andrea take on the challenge! I know that's only six, but that's about it for non-MySpace bloggers I know that might actually do this! LOL

Bad paper

2007-10-30T14:20:00.001-05:00

You'd think my first clue would've been when I checked into the doctor's office and found out I was at the wrong place. It was time for my yearly gyno appointment, and I was returning to a doctor that I'd only seen once before (a year and a half ago). Of course, there were two gynos that I'd only been to once, and I picked the wrong one to show up at. The correct office was gracious enough to reschedule my appointment for this afternoon and not charge me for my lack of brain cells.

Bad paper #1 - the ticket I received when I was headed to the correct doctor's office this afternoon. I did a rolling stop. My mind was obviously elsewhere. My eyes sure saw the officer zipping right at me. I pulled over and he hastily sped me thru the process, leaving me a bit dazed as he darted back to his lucrative hiding place.

Bad paper #2 - the one that stuck to my fanny as I was nervously waiting for the doctor to come into the room. Of course, it wouldn't have mattered if she walked in the door 30 seconds or 30 minutes after I sat down. It would've been plastered to my heiney either way. They must be made with some specific material that increases the stick-to-the-butt factor. And those paper tops we're made to wear? They need to be made in different sizes. I was lucky it didn't rip on me. That happened before... when I had to see a male doctor... talk about humiliating.

So there I was this afternoon - paper bib wrapped around my upper half like those silly sweaters that really serve no purpose outside of decoration, paper blanket on my lap (why do they even call it a blanket? it could only be a baby's blanket, considering the size) (and I tried my darnedest to tuck it under me wherever possible without ripping it), and paper table cover plastered to my underside like a band aid. My pulse was racing so high, and I realized I was as afraid of this as I am with the dentist. Never really noticed it before, but I sure felt the anxiety this time. Then she walks in... and the rest is a bit of a blur.

This is what I drove home with: I need to go back to see her in two months. At that time, I need to inform her of my decision as to whether or not we want to have more children. (Yes, we have two months to decide this. These thoughts are enough for a separate blog... I'll post another day.) I also need to be in a better place with my health when I return. If my weight hasn't dropped in numbers, I at least need to be able to honestly tell her that I'm exercising & eating better - regularly. Sometime between now & then I need to have a fasting blood draw, so they can do a thorough check. I also need to go for a digital mammogram. Aside from those things, she told me I was just dealt a bad set of genes... a "really bad set of genes"... and it's up to me to do all I can about it. Someone with my weight could live fine with it, but with everything I have... basically I'm screwed if I don't start making some serious changes immediately. I'm at a much higher risk of diabetes and heart disease because of the state of my PCOS. That's outside of the family history of those, too. I also most likely have something called incisional endrometriosis (I'm pretty sure that's what she called it) in a section of my C-section scar (we can do surgery on it if it bothers me enough, and there's other steps necessary for me to take starting now for it). Oh, and if I do get pregnant without making changes first, I will most likely deliver the baby very early (more than Kirsten's 32 weeks), have gestational diabetes, heart problems, or I could even die. Oh, and the baby could have serious defects or die, too.

Can you see what a dark visit this was? I guess I've got my work cut out for me. Lots of thinking to do. And action. Unless I want to die, which isn't something I'm actually planning on doing any time soon.

Thanks for sitting thru this. I needed to write out as much as I could before I forget what she said. My mind's already numbing up and it hasn't even been an hour since I left there.

Hmmm...

I must be getting old

2007-10-25T09:32:00.000-05:00

Today I spoke with a nurse at my doctor's office. She was letting me know the results of an x-ray I had taken of my left foot last week. (The weekend prior I hurt it some while digging up bushes in the yard, and was a little concerned about it.) She told me that there were no fractures, but she sounded a bit concerned when she told me that a bit of arthritis showed up. She said it wasn't a lot, but it was definitely arthritis.

So, why didn't I have anything else to say besides "Thank you" until I hung up the phone?!? At that point, all sorts of questions started running thru my mind, including the question of why didn't I think of these when I had her on the phone! Am I too young for arthritis? Is that why she sounded a bit cautious when telling me? This is my first "official" diagnosis of this - what does that mean for me? Is it going to progress? How do I treat it? Is this something I inherited from my family (many of them have arthritis)? Is this something spurred on from my early teen cheerleading days? (Yes, I was a cheerleader in junior high - you can stop laughing now.) Or is this from the past 20 years of putting my body weight on my poor little footsies?

If any of you that read this have any input, please advise! Or should I just call the office back with my questions?

I miss my Docs

2007-10-20T20:23:00.000-05:00

Oh, I really miss those black steel-toed beauties! They finally met their end about a year ago... but after over 10 years of hard wear, they fulfilled their destiny quite well! My friend Vickie had given them to me back in our early college days. I wore them to death, yet they never gave out on me. They were my play shoes, my clubbin' shoes, my work shoes, and even my church shoes! I did just about everything in them except sleep!

Aren't they pretty?!? Then again, I've always wanted burgundy/red ones, too. Or as boots.

Hmmm... I've been thinking about getting them for so long - for well over 15 years, that's for sure. So, why don't I have them yet?!? Maybe I should make a little bank for myself. One that I can't get into until it's full. It'll strictly be my "new pair of Docs" fund. Yeah, I think I really need to do this.

Washing miracle

2007-10-18T20:19:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it! This morning I did a load of laundry. What did I find at the END of the entire process? A kleenex - completely intact!

(see inside the red circle)

I seriously can't believe it. With all the tissue we go thru around here with Kirsten's nose problem, I'm pretty good at going thru all the nooks & crannies of the clothes to make sure one doesn't slip past me. And when they do, the mess is horrible, as expected. But this...? Definitely a cool moment for me! And yes, it is a little sad that something like this really excites me so! LOL

By the way... why do busses stop on train tracks & open the doors? I was behind a school bus, observing this ritual, and was really wondering about the safety of it. Does the driver want to see the train that's about to plow into them? Are they giving the kids a quick opportunity to get off & go play on the tracks? Why do they do that?!?